When times were rough a single thought used to come to mind, "why is this happening to me?" Day in and day out I would ask myself this question over and over again. And then one day the answer just came to me. As I stared blankly at the ceiling and pondered upon my depressing state of affairs the tears that blurred my sight apparently did not do the same for my insight. Things happen solely to us not because we are cruel and fate deems a punishment upon our sinful souls but because we will such occurences upon ourselves. Of course there times where fate intervenes and we are betrayed by the natures of what goes around comes around but rarely is the case that this happens.
Sometimes it seems that life is so unfair and that what we yearn so greatly is something that someone else regards so trivially. Doesn’t that just burn your insides with jealousy as you feel like screaming in their faces "Don’t you realize how lucky you are?!" But think again. You are looking at one perspective… try another. How many people would scorn at you for your unappreciative nature to the already privileged life and style that you behold so dimly? A great many let me tell you. It is perfect human nature never to be satisfied with what they already hold so firmly within their grasp. But don’t writhe in agony, its perfectly natural. Dissatisfaction and the urge to have and do better has spurred many great achievements and this same dissatisfaction is the sole reason why we are so advanced in all perspectives. Our refusal at permanent satisfaction.
The same goes for every aspect of our lives, especially our emotions. The heart is constantly changing and is certainly highly influential upon decisions, perspectives and judgement. The heart tailors what the mind perceives. Sometimes we feel confused and especially at this tender age where changes occur so rapidly, we youths are always in a state of imbroglio. Enveloped by insecurity and tinged with pent up frustration and inexplicable urges, we tend to seek solace and comfort in the most unlikely places. The arms of the opposite sex, friends and even resorting to the likes of chemical substances….(ahem, I’ll leave the rest to your imagination). I am no saint. I am not going to claim that I have not endured and undergone this phase for I have. And I cannot be prouder in claiming that I have done my share of sins and paid my dues in retribution for with this I have become wiser. By allowing my heart to do the deciding and completely ignoring the sane reasoning of my head, I have made my blunders and trips.
But you know what, I am proud of it. For if I had not felt the antagonizing pain that I endured during this period of awakening, or had I not spent those moments in constant gripping fear of constant peril at the hands of those that matter, I suppose that I won’t be filled with this sense of maturity that I have earned today. I won’t be as enlightened and I certainly know for a fact that I would not have taken life as seriously as I do now. But most critically of all, had I not passed through such a rebellious passage of life, I would not have opened my eyes to the riches and jewels that surround my presence at every waking moment of my life.
I owe my existence to these people and I will gladly give them credit to all that I have and am to accomplish. For these nimble fingers, steady grasps and wilfull words were the pillars of my strength. It was at this point that I truly realized what life had been trying to teach me all this time. What common sense had been urging me to see in all my years of existence. What lessons that I had learnt in moral class that I had so readily scorned upon had been all about. Think with your head, feel with your heart and decide with your conscience.
All those lessons of life and how teachings are ressurected and given life through the harrowing experiences that we live was just to teach us the basic lesson of how to perceive things and execute judgement in the right and orderly manner. Yikes! If i had taken anymore time in figuring this out, I might have been the biggest moron ever! Then yet again, I can’t come down on myself too hard as there still are others that have spent half their lives trying to figure out what i have managed to in 18 years. Not that I’m exulted by this solitary fact but of course a tinge of pride does tend to blossom in the corner of my heart.
Well, it isn’t arrogance that is saying these words. It is pure judgement of the mind and heart all in one. But then again, it is how we interpret it. I see it this way, as confidence and pride, the are others that will view it as arrogance and egoism. But you know what, I don’t care. I simply don’t as I am through living my life through the eyes of others. I live for me and those that are closely knit beside me and it is their perception and thoughts that matter. Not the world, society or the people. It is me and you……
Sometimes it seems that life is so unfair and that what we yearn so greatly is something that someone else regards so trivially. Doesn’t that just burn your insides with jealousy as you feel like screaming in their faces "Don’t you realize how lucky you are?!" But think again. You are looking at one perspective… try another. How many people would scorn at you for your unappreciative nature to the already privileged life and style that you behold so dimly? A great many let me tell you. It is perfect human nature never to be satisfied with what they already hold so firmly within their grasp. But don’t writhe in agony, its perfectly natural. Dissatisfaction and the urge to have and do better has spurred many great achievements and this same dissatisfaction is the sole reason why we are so advanced in all perspectives. Our refusal at permanent satisfaction.
The same goes for every aspect of our lives, especially our emotions. The heart is constantly changing and is certainly highly influential upon decisions, perspectives and judgement. The heart tailors what the mind perceives. Sometimes we feel confused and especially at this tender age where changes occur so rapidly, we youths are always in a state of imbroglio. Enveloped by insecurity and tinged with pent up frustration and inexplicable urges, we tend to seek solace and comfort in the most unlikely places. The arms of the opposite sex, friends and even resorting to the likes of chemical substances….(ahem, I’ll leave the rest to your imagination). I am no saint. I am not going to claim that I have not endured and undergone this phase for I have. And I cannot be prouder in claiming that I have done my share of sins and paid my dues in retribution for with this I have become wiser. By allowing my heart to do the deciding and completely ignoring the sane reasoning of my head, I have made my blunders and trips.
But you know what, I am proud of it. For if I had not felt the antagonizing pain that I endured during this period of awakening, or had I not spent those moments in constant gripping fear of constant peril at the hands of those that matter, I suppose that I won’t be filled with this sense of maturity that I have earned today. I won’t be as enlightened and I certainly know for a fact that I would not have taken life as seriously as I do now. But most critically of all, had I not passed through such a rebellious passage of life, I would not have opened my eyes to the riches and jewels that surround my presence at every waking moment of my life.
I owe my existence to these people and I will gladly give them credit to all that I have and am to accomplish. For these nimble fingers, steady grasps and wilfull words were the pillars of my strength. It was at this point that I truly realized what life had been trying to teach me all this time. What common sense had been urging me to see in all my years of existence. What lessons that I had learnt in moral class that I had so readily scorned upon had been all about. Think with your head, feel with your heart and decide with your conscience.
All those lessons of life and how teachings are ressurected and given life through the harrowing experiences that we live was just to teach us the basic lesson of how to perceive things and execute judgement in the right and orderly manner. Yikes! If i had taken anymore time in figuring this out, I might have been the biggest moron ever! Then yet again, I can’t come down on myself too hard as there still are others that have spent half their lives trying to figure out what i have managed to in 18 years. Not that I’m exulted by this solitary fact but of course a tinge of pride does tend to blossom in the corner of my heart.
Well, it isn’t arrogance that is saying these words. It is pure judgement of the mind and heart all in one. But then again, it is how we interpret it. I see it this way, as confidence and pride, the are others that will view it as arrogance and egoism. But you know what, I don’t care. I simply don’t as I am through living my life through the eyes of others. I live for me and those that are closely knit beside me and it is their perception and thoughts that matter. Not the world, society or the people. It is me and you……
