Me, Myself and Insanity

Dee

I adore Bruno Mars and when he dishes out songs like these who won't?!

Call me morbid and everything but another song that speaks volumes! LOVE

Grenade- Bruno Mars

Easy come, easy go
That's just how you live, oh
Take, take, take it all,
But you never give
Should of known you was trouble from the first kiss,

Had your eyes wide open -
Why were they open?
Gave you all I had
And you tossed it in the trash
You tossed it in the trash, you did
To give me all your love is all I ever asked,

Cause what you don't understand is
I’d catch a grenade for ya (yeah, yeah, yeah)
Throw my hand on a blade for ya (yeah, yeah, yeah)
I’d jump in front of a train for ya (yeah, yeah , yeah)
You know I'd do anything for ya (yeah, yeah, yeah) Oh, oh
I would go through all this pain,

Take a bullet straight through my brain,
Yes, I would die for ya baby ;

But you won't do the same

No, no, no, no
Black, black, black and blue beat me till I'm numb

Tell the devil I said “hey” when you get back to where you're from
Mad woman, bad woman,
That's just what you are, yeah,
You’ll smile in my face then rip the breaks out my car
Gave you all I had

And you tossed it in the trash
You tossed it in the trash, yes you did
To give me all your love is all I ever asked

Take a bullet straight through my brain,
Yes, I would die for ya baby

But you won't do the same

If my body was on fire, ooh

You’ d watch me burn down in flames

You said you loved me you're a liar

Cause you never, ever, ever did baby...
But darling I’ll still catch a grenade for ya
Throw my hand on a blade for ya (yeah, yeah, yeah)
I’d jump in front of a train for ya (yeah, yeah , yeah)
You know I'd do anything for ya (yeah, yeah, yeah) Oh, oh
I would go through all this pain,

Take a bullet straight through my brain,
Yes, I would die for ya baby

But you won't do the same.
No, you won’t do the same,
You wouldn’t do the same,
Ooh, you’ll never do the same,
No, no, no, no

Labels: Mochalicious Music 0 Seams and Embellishments |

Home is Where the Heart Is

Dee

How does a person have their whole world and then turn back to nothingness? I don't understand why I feel so affected by the departure of a dear friend but I just am. I used to look forward to the weekends so much I didn't know how much till they were taken away. The prospect of sleeping on a cold hard floor enamoured me so much that I didn't mind walking miles with bags laden on my tired shoulders in the sweltering heat of the afternoon sun. I left behind a luxurious room and house filled with goodies, a television at my disposal, an attached bathroom, a huge bed and space enough to accommodate five. I left all that for something less in material wealth and space but yet gained more. I left that all for a place I called home more sincerely than I ever have since I stepped foot on this foreign land. I went home to a single person who was more distant in blood to me than the next person but who was closer to my heart than most would care to understand.

The saying "home is where the heart is" took a whole new meaning in my eyes. For the first time, I actually understood the depth of what it meant. It didn't matter to me that after exhausting nights of studying, I came home to a floor and instead of having a fully stocked larder, I had a tiny cupboard to rifle through. I came home to more, I came home to a tiny person who cared and loved me as much as I did her. I came home to someone I regarded as family.

We didn't do or say much. But the simple things that we did held more definition to me than most memories I hold. Simple things like making coffee for each other. her crazy hair coming out from the covers to shut her alarm that would annoy the hell out of me as it rang every five minutes, her legs propped against the wall like pillars, the insane amount of time she would use to do her hair or even the simple things like how she would grin her heart out when she did something she knew would annoy me were things that meant so little at the time but now seem so paramount in effect. What I wouldn't give to have at least one of those moments back.

It doesn't matter that others don't understand how much of a loss her absence in presence is to me. I never expected them to. But I hope she does. I hope she knows how much I miss her and how I think of her every day and every night. I hope she realizes that she didn't merely provide me with a place to stay in my time of need, she provided me with a family when I felt alone. She gave me a place to belong to when I felt lost, and I don't mean a place where I could rest my head, I mean a place where my heart felt at peace. She will always have my heart wherever she is though I truly wish she was here with me....

I miss you Nisha and I always will.....

Labels: Espresso-ed Everyday 1 Seams and Embellishments |

The Feel of Life

Dee

Tiny, frail fingers reached out into the air,

Pale and wrinkly, they were bare,

Love and warmth enveloped them,

Blanketed by cotton and lace right to the hem....

Grew they did and reach out,

Touching and feeling the world about,

The soft tender strokes of mum's lips,

The rough graze of dads cheeks and his playful nips....

Colour and noise they grew into,

Grab at toys they did but only at a few,

Pictures and images they loved to feel,

Pages of wonder was what sealed the deal....

More did these hands grow to touch,

The wonders life provided were such,

Hand in hand the tiny fingers twirled,

Of laughter, tiny giggles and claps did they swirl....

To hold a pencil came the first task,

A new role to play, a new mask,

The weight of expectation begins to form,

Guidance came, all sweet and warm.

The grip on the pencil grew stronger,

The pressures with it grew harder,

Sweat and toil began to fester,

Of strength and courage these delicate strands muster....

To caress and hold they now knew,

But only for a few,

Those that they wished to show love and affection,

An undying dedication of love and passion....

Hitting hard at boards with letters,

As the icons move in tiny patters,

The smooth surface that these nimble tips brush,

A stark contrast to the weathered palms that were once lush....

Grown and weathered these bright brown feelers may be,

But the world they have seen,

Today they wonder of the touch they first knew,

The feel of emptiness, the darkness in dews...

They claw into the abyss,

Searching, groping, grieving....

Holding on to the single strand of hope,

That the treasure that lay beyond will help them cope,

With the hardness and roughness that life has set,

They search for the familiar warmth they once had....

Labels: Latte-fied Theatrics 0 Seams and Embellishments |

Another Adventure To Remember

Dee

Not a thousand years ago,

Four friends were on the go,

To scour the land for delicious morsels,

A journey filled with banter, laughter and giggles.

Arrived they did at their hashery of choice,

The three roses stepped in with more smiles and noise,

The thorn was left behind rummaging,

For in his bag he was endlessly digging.

As the cuisines were picked in that chilly night,

In walks the harrowed thorn, a frightful sight!

The keys I've locked in our wagon,

Breathes the twitchy, agonized sanguine.

The other three stare bewildered,

What a state in to be rendered,

Are you sure, have you checked, how did you manage that, they all quipped,

With his head in his hands, the poor lad looked simply whipped.

Never matter, let us try to save the day, said the bright red one,

And before their meals arrived, two from the table were gone,

Silence loomed over the yellow and pink of the two,

Brood and worry began to stew.

Fruitlessly the two were recalled,

As plates presented had put their efforts on stall,

Mutter and chatter were scarce for once,

All four were embroiled in a silent trance.

The only resolve was an hour away,

But who would they call upon to save this harrowing day?

The pink of them had a name,

And all four prayed for hope till their saviour came.

Futile efforts were once more carried at their carriage,

But all their toil lay in carnage,

Stares and jokes they did attract,

They looked like goons that night, that is a fact.

Their knight in shining transit did soon arrive,

The four then shone alive,

Ever grateful they were to be rescued,

For the cold would have started a heated feud.

Laugh they did at the impish thorn,

But the poor dear did seem truly forlorn,

Yet his antics were one to remember,

And the three shall forget this never.

More laughter and chatter filled the lively clunker,

Excitement came from laughing, teasing and banter,

The rogue of the night was indeed picked on,

But then again, he was the night's moron.

The journey to the other end of state,

Had brought them into the day late,

Weary they were growing,

But the journey they were loving.

As the day's adventure came to an end,

All four thanked their god's sent,

Ever grateful they were,

For their knight in shining armour truly was a dear.

Without his noble aid, they would have been stranded,

And who knows how their night would have ended,

They bid goodbye and clambered into their loyal wagon,

The four moved on into the night as a renewed tightly-knit brethren.

An adventure in the eyes of the four,

With their children they shall someday laugh and share this lore,

Closer together they left that night,

A joy and a wrong turned out better than a right.

This piece I dedicate to our little adventure,

For this certainly is a blunder to remember,

A night cherished and will always be laughed upon,

A night that brought five friends together with bonds reborn.

Labels: Espresso-ed Everyday 2 Seams and Embellishments |

Ahead and Before....

Dee

Fingers grazing my dreams,

Pain brushing my screams,

I look in the mirror and wonder,

What comes after,

The meaning of the shadow that falls behind,

The terrors of the night in your arms I find,

The embrace of that turned vice,

The laugh that turned to cries,

Stony grey ice staring back,

The day that turns black,

Of warmth comes chill,

A stroll on a journey uphill,

Leaves that fall,

Build a brick wall,

A dam that holds within,

The reservoir of bitter sin,

Time trickles down my cheek,

The light my eyes seek,

As my fingers grip the empty air,

The face of a blank stare.....

What lies behind is told,

What lay ahead waiting to unfold,

The lips whisper,

The heart and mind suffer,

The lights dim as the curtain unfurls,

As colour swirls,

A visage of miracles,

A life of debacles,

As the last tear trickles,

And the face wrinkles....

The last never ends,

The circle never bends....

Labels: Latte-fied Theatrics 0 Seams and Embellishments |

When the Going Gets Tough

Dee

“When times get tough the tough get going”

Story of my life I once used to think. Whenever things got tough, rough and edgy, I simply went. Never looking back I went. Fuelled by anger, shame, a drive like no other, I went without looking back. Was I wrong? Have I gone forth so much that I can’t look back without cringing? Drowning myself with work has always worked. Never really having the time on my hands has left me with a sense of security as I suffocated myself with something I had labelled “productive” Never had I once thought that they sacrifices I made would one day show up at my doorstep demanding an explanation. Had I grown up way too fast? Had I thrown away my youth for the sake of seeking approval? What was it I wanted so badly out of this painstaking way of life?

Don’t get me wrong, I have never once held my decisions or my choices in the light of regret. But these questions that have accompanied my moments of loneliness now seem to greet my mind when preoccupation has filtered through. Who am I? What is my purpose in life? I’ve never had a truly meaningful existence have I? If I were to suddenly disappear, would anyone truly miss me? As in not just my presence, but me, the person that I am. What am I or have I offered others in terms of a friendship? Sometimes I feel so undeserving of all the kindness and the love that seem to blanket me with such easing comfort. What have I done to deserve the grace and beauty that simply seems to fall at my feet? I have wonderful parents, beautiful family members and adoring friends. What have I done to earn all of them? Do I even deserve them? Self-doubt, anxiety and questions plague my every inch of sanity.

Sometimes I feel overwhelmed by everything that goes around me. There are times when I just feel like throwing everything away and disappearing forever. A thought that carves a smile across my face is I remember a friend once saying, “One day you may go to sleep forever” If only. Now don’t get me wrong. I’m not suicidal or anything. But I just wish that I could take everything away for just one day. The pain. The thoughts. The memories. The bitterness. The ache that simply never seems to fade away. It’s exhausting having to pretend being strong all the time. To seem like whenever times got tough, others could turn to me to get everyone and everything going. For once, I just want to be the one who’s taken care of. For a little while, I just want to be able to shift all the responsibilities that cripple to someone else for just a little while. My shoulders ache from the heave that I’ve been lugging around and even for a split second, I wish I could just relieve myself of some stress. But somehow, I’ve never been able to move this load.

For me, when the tough got going, my whole life followed suit.

Labels: Flat Whitely Flares 0 Seams and Embellishments |

A Glance Out A Window

Dee

Every time I look at the window,

Sight greets me with life, with sorrow,

The sun that shines leaves me with a question,

If its shine will forever be in my possession,

Will the warmth I feel ever fade,

Will its glow one day evade,

Will I ever be alone,

Are these the seeds of life and love I’ve sown,

I look out at the gay and merry garden,

Of colour, vibrance and vigour the land is laden,

Smiles dawn at its mere sight,

It sends your heart and joy soaring to new heights,

With that joy a notion dawns,

Will these smiles one day be replaced by frowns,

Will the joy in my heart ever last,

Or will they fade with the colours of the blooms into the gray past……

The birds soar, gliding through the heavenly clouds,

The white carpet blanketing them like smooth shrouds,

The comfort, warmth and security,

The feeling of being unguarded, free,

Will it ever be mine,

This feeling will I ever find,

A question I now not the answer to,

A question that’s not anew….

Labels: Latte-fied Theatrics 0 Seams and Embellishments |

Sunday, December 12, 2010

Grenade

Sunday, December 12, 2010 Posted by Dee

I adore Bruno Mars and when he dishes out songs like these who won't?!

Call me morbid and everything but another song that speaks volumes! LOVE

Grenade- Bruno Mars

Easy come, easy go
That's just how you live, oh
Take, take, take it all,
But you never give
Should of known you was trouble from the first kiss,

Had your eyes wide open -
Why were they open?
Gave you all I had
And you tossed it in the trash
You tossed it in the trash, you did
To give me all your love is all I ever asked,

Take a bullet straight through my brain,
Yes, I would die for ya baby ;

But you won't do the same

No, no, no, no
Black, black, black and blue beat me till I'm numb

Take a bullet straight through my brain,
Yes, I would die for ya baby

But you won't do the same

If my body was on fire, ooh

You’ d watch me burn down in flames

You said you loved me you're a liar

Take a bullet straight through my brain,
Yes, I would die for ya baby

But you won't do the same.
No, you won’t do the same,
You wouldn’t do the same,
Ooh, you’ll never do the same,
No, no, no, no

Saturday, December 11, 2010

Home is Where the Heart Is

Saturday, December 11, 2010 Posted by Dee

I miss you Nisha and I always will.....

Saturday, September 25, 2010

The Feel of Life

Saturday, September 25, 2010 Posted by Dee

Tiny, frail fingers reached out into the air,

Pale and wrinkly, they were bare,

Love and warmth enveloped them,

Blanketed by cotton and lace right to the hem....

Grew they did and reach out,

Touching and feeling the world about,

The soft tender strokes of mum's lips,

The rough graze of dads cheeks and his playful nips....

Colour and noise they grew into,

Grab at toys they did but only at a few,

Pictures and images they loved to feel,

Pages of wonder was what sealed the deal....

More did these hands grow to touch,

The wonders life provided were such,

Hand in hand the tiny fingers twirled,

Of laughter, tiny giggles and claps did they swirl....

To hold a pencil came the first task,

A new role to play, a new mask,

The weight of expectation begins to form,

Guidance came, all sweet and warm.

The grip on the pencil grew stronger,

The pressures with it grew harder,

Sweat and toil began to fester,

Of strength and courage these delicate strands muster....

To caress and hold they now knew,

But only for a few,

Those that they wished to show love and affection,

An undying dedication of love and passion....

Hitting hard at boards with letters,

As the icons move in tiny patters,

The smooth surface that these nimble tips brush,

A stark contrast to the weathered palms that were once lush....

Grown and weathered these bright brown feelers may be,

But the world they have seen,

Today they wonder of the touch they first knew,

The feel of emptiness, the darkness in dews...

They claw into the abyss,

Searching, groping, grieving....

Holding on to the single strand of hope,

That the treasure that lay beyond will help them cope,

With the hardness and roughness that life has set,

They search for the familiar warmth they once had....

Thursday, September 16, 2010

Another Adventure To Remember

Thursday, September 16, 2010 Posted by Dee

Not a thousand years ago,

Four friends were on the go,

To scour the land for delicious morsels,

A journey filled with banter, laughter and giggles.

Arrived they did at their hashery of choice,

The three roses stepped in with more smiles and noise,

The thorn was left behind rummaging,

For in his bag he was endlessly digging.

As the cuisines were picked in that chilly night,

In walks the harrowed thorn, a frightful sight!

The keys I've locked in our wagon,

Breathes the twitchy, agonized sanguine.

The other three stare bewildered,

What a state in to be rendered,

Are you sure, have you checked, how did you manage that, they all quipped,

With his head in his hands, the poor lad looked simply whipped.

Never matter, let us try to save the day, said the bright red one,

And before their meals arrived, two from the table were gone,

Silence loomed over the yellow and pink of the two,

Brood and worry began to stew.

Fruitlessly the two were recalled,

As plates presented had put their efforts on stall,

Mutter and chatter were scarce for once,

All four were embroiled in a silent trance.

The only resolve was an hour away,

But who would they call upon to save this harrowing day?

The pink of them had a name,

And all four prayed for hope till their saviour came.

Futile efforts were once more carried at their carriage,

But all their toil lay in carnage,

Stares and jokes they did attract,

They looked like goons that night, that is a fact.

Their knight in shining transit did soon arrive,

The four then shone alive,

Ever grateful they were to be rescued,

For the cold would have started a heated feud.

Laugh they did at the impish thorn,

But the poor dear did seem truly forlorn,

Yet his antics were one to remember,

And the three shall forget this never.

More laughter and chatter filled the lively clunker,

Excitement came from laughing, teasing and banter,

The rogue of the night was indeed picked on,

But then again, he was the night's moron.

The journey to the other end of state,

Had brought them into the day late,

Weary they were growing,

But the journey they were loving.

As the day's adventure came to an end,

All four thanked their god's sent,

Ever grateful they were,

For their knight in shining armour truly was a dear.

Without his noble aid, they would have been stranded,

And who knows how their night would have ended,

They bid goodbye and clambered into their loyal wagon,

The four moved on into the night as a renewed tightly-knit brethren.

An adventure in the eyes of the four,

With their children they shall someday laugh and share this lore,

Closer together they left that night,

A joy and a wrong turned out better than a right.

This piece I dedicate to our little adventure,

For this certainly is a blunder to remember,

A night cherished and will always be laughed upon,

A night that brought five friends together with bonds reborn.

Monday, September 06, 2010

Ahead and Before....

Monday, September 06, 2010 Posted by Dee

Fingers grazing my dreams,

Pain brushing my screams,

I look in the mirror and wonder,

What comes after,

The meaning of the shadow that falls behind,

The terrors of the night in your arms I find,

The embrace of that turned vice,

The laugh that turned to cries,

Stony grey ice staring back,

The day that turns black,

Of warmth comes chill,

A stroll on a journey uphill,

Leaves that fall,

Build a brick wall,

A dam that holds within,

The reservoir of bitter sin,

Time trickles down my cheek,

The light my eyes seek,

As my fingers grip the empty air,

The face of a blank stare.....

What lies behind is told,

What lay ahead waiting to unfold,

The lips whisper,

The heart and mind suffer,

The lights dim as the curtain unfurls,

As colour swirls,

A visage of miracles,

A life of debacles,

As the last tear trickles,

And the face wrinkles....

The last never ends,

The circle never bends....

Monday, June 21, 2010

When the Going Gets Tough

Monday, June 21, 2010 Posted by Dee

Sunday, June 20, 2010

A Glance Out A Window

Sunday, June 20, 2010 Posted by Dee

Every time I look at the window,

Sight greets me with life, with sorrow,

The sun that shines leaves me with a question,

If its shine will forever be in my possession,

Will the warmth I feel ever fade,

Will its glow one day evade,

Will I ever be alone,

Are these the seeds of life and love I’ve sown,

I look out at the gay and merry garden,

Of colour, vibrance and vigour the land is laden,

Smiles dawn at its mere sight,

It sends your heart and joy soaring to new heights,

With that joy a notion dawns,

Will these smiles one day be replaced by frowns,

Will the joy in my heart ever last,

Or will they fade with the colours of the blooms into the gray past……

The birds soar, gliding through the heavenly clouds,

The white carpet blanketing them like smooth shrouds,

The comfort, warmth and security,

The feeling of being unguarded, free,

Will it ever be mine,

This feeling will I ever find,

A question I now not the answer to,

A question that’s not anew….

Me, Myself and Insanity

Sunday, December 12, 2010

Grenade

Saturday, December 11, 2010

Home is Where the Heart Is

Saturday, September 25, 2010

The Feel of Life

Thursday, September 16, 2010

Another Adventure To Remember

Monday, September 06, 2010

Ahead and Before....

Monday, June 21, 2010

When the Going Gets Tough

Sunday, June 20, 2010

A Glance Out A Window

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