Another couple of days has passed since last friday but I feel rather obliged to immortalize yesterday (saturday) as it has been an immensely enjoyable day. The day started a little mundane actually as our mobilization at Taman Petaling took a rather slow start but we managed to perk things up in the script reading session as the kids drew energy to go through their practice session with exuberance. It was fun watching them try and work hard at achieving their own intended individual goals. But after our mobilization, Samenti, Kaleena, Grace and myself decided that we would head on down to MidValley to search for face paint for the kids drama act as the deadline for the production was drawing eerily closer minute after minute. I could almost feel my heart race the minute I thought of this subject in particular. But after nearly 2 hours of scavenging, our efforts were fruitless. The disappointing visit to Toys R' Us (where we were told to go moreover) and MegaKidz as well as Jusco and ToyCity had dampened our spirits. The only slight picker-upper (yeah I know I just made that word up, its my blog, so sue me! hehehe) was that Sharanya had joined us just as we left the last place (Jusco) and we all decided that we needed a little fuelling so we headed off to Anna Lakshmi for a nice traditional indian fare. Being students, we are very budget conscious and Anna Lakshmi was the apt destination for us (you can enjoy a good meal and pay what you feel is appropriate to what you have consumed, its a charity joint) so we marched right there. Being girls, our hearty meal was accompanied by cheery banter, cheeky laughs and girly giggles. For the first time, I felt that I had truly bonded with my Mentoring Mates and it was really super fun as we laughed, ate and drank together. After all that, we decided that we still needed to get some white cloth for our banner so we headed down to Kamdar as our final destination as Kaleena needed to go back (and so did I!) There we had some fun with the guy who served us as our darling Grace addressed this guy that was no older than we were as "Pak Cik" As soon as she uttered these words the four of us burst out laughing and she blushed from head to toe. Even the guy had to smile rather shyly. It was hilarious and the joke stuck throughout as the guy began addressing Grace as "Mak Cik". Poor Grace was trying her level best to keep a calm face but she looked so flushed that a mere glance at her gave her away. Sharanya continued the joke by taking almost forever to decide how much cloth to get for the backdrop for her team. On a normal occasion it would have been exasperating but here it was more fun than irking. Moving on, we headed back to the LRT station as Samenti and I had parked the car in Asia Jaya and that I needed to drop Kaleena back. Before leaving MidValley though it was decided that Samenti would go back to Bangsar with Sharanya after getting her car as she wanted to check out this shop that was supposedly selling face paint. So we parted ways with Grace at the LRT station and Kaleena, Samenti, Sharanya and I headed to Asia Jaya. Upon reaching Asia Jaya, Sharanya announced that she was hungry and we all decided that we could do with a nice cold rootbeer float (it was scorching hot that day!) Kaleena rode with me while Samenti and Sharanya rode together. After getting to A&W we ordered our floats and curly fries (I had onion rings as usual) while Sharanya had waffles with ice cream, we sat down to another session of laughter and chatter. So after more laughter, giggles and talk we said our goodbyes and left at about 5 plus. I drove Kaleena back to One Utama and headed back for my alternative refuge. As ordinary as this may seem to some, I have to say that it was rather fulfilling for me and I enjoyed Saturday more than anything. Apart from meaning that it was enjoyable in the "lepak" mode, I felt that I had discovered a more relax part of my colleagues and for the first time, we weren't mere colleagues but we had become truly friends.
weeelll, i know i sorta promised a daily account of things but i haven't been able to find the free time unfortunately.... So sad so sad.... But ive gotta say that apart from the last 8 days, it has been absolute fun! I mean I joined this program called Mentoring Malaysia and wow! was i amazed!! i mean, its funny to think that psychology students are so excited about virtually anything.... ( a mere trip to Rimba Ilmu aka the Jungle of Knowledge was a blast! and well, being a person who is all for the positive youth development! god i will remember this phrase till my very end thankz to ARCCADE which by the way stands for Asian Research Center for Child and Adolescent Development) Though I felt a little sad that I had genuinely sacrificed my holidays (we were required to come in practically everyday to college for some reason or the other, trainig, briefings, etc etc...) but man, I could never have chosen a more productive way of spending my break! being a mentor has definitely changed my perspective and this experience has been a ground breaking one in my life!!! Many people misconstrue the field of psychology as being able to comprehend practically everything and most people turn a bling eye to the very fact that psychologists or psychology students are human beings juz like every other individual. We're not perfect and neither are we the poster children of angelicism. But well, i have to say that this has been a one in a lifetime chance and I truly owe my inspirations to people like Dr. Brendan (who is almost ALWAYZ POSITITVE, really, you can tell him anything and he'll show you the silver lining! quite frustrating at times to see someone so cheery! hehehe!) then there's Patricia (she's a ball of fun though she's not even close to a ball! but well, Pat juz has this way of making everything feel great!) Jaime is the quiet one (really, she is so docile that you can never imagine her mad in a million gazillion years!) Usha is another fun person though she is also a little quiet ( and they say I sound like her, sheesh, i sound like a wacko next to this completely calm and rational person! hehe) Jasmine is a ton of fun! The larger than life person who juz exudes vibrance as she lights up even the largest space with her spirit of fun (though she does seem to be perplexed with BM, yeah she's from UK so she's not well versed in Bahasa) then we have Eric. Eric looks a little serious but don't let the serious glasses fool you! He's as quirky and filled with a sense of humor that matches anyone elses. (GO ERIC! hehehe) then there's Daniel. Daniel is perhaps the most quiet and docile human being I have EVER MET!!! i mean really! he's soft spoken and always wears a smile! Honestly, I wonder where he has the energy to stay so calm and sane everyday!!! ( imagine his dedication, he travels 4 hours to and fro to work... he must REALLY love kids!!) and thats all of em at ARRCADE! but i must say that apart from working for remarkable souls I had the pleasure of working WITH wonderful peers. Kaleena is a sweet and warm friend, thats glowing with spirit and cheeriness. Grace is just as sweet as Kaleena and Grace has a sense of warmth that fills the team with so much security (she interns at ARRCADE so she's like OUR big sister! hehehe) and she LOVES purple! Janice is a quiet little person but you can totally rely on her to help! Mrema is fun and always ready with in put and help! then there's Samenti our team coordinator. Samenti is fun and always filled with positivity and she's super cool! and then there's me!! I'm not about to describe myself but for those who know me... hehehe... you know me! well, im signing off now! A fun and totally wonderful day!!!
Well, well, well, seeing that this is my very first post I think a little introduction is in order... SO, my name is Deeviana Sinnu and im currently 19 attending HELP University. hmm... i rather dislike describing myself as this is my BLOG and not my BIODATA. So if those out there who wish to seek the additional info about me and my various insane questst do check out my profile as well. Im insightful when I choose to be all prophetic and I can seem a little weird at times ( you've been warned! ) I'm a psychology major but please people, STOP with the psycho quotes and jokes! I'm still sane you know! (or at least I think I am) I am open to criticism about all I am about to post in the future so please leave your thoughts and CONSTRUCTIVE criticisms as they are more than welcome (do not spurn my wrath with your words of folly! for the consequences are dire! you have been warned!) hehehe.... so for all you people who know me, HELLO once again! and for those who don't its nice to meet you! and hoping that this may be another blogging experience worth holding close to heart!! I already have another blog which is evidently filled with more stuff than this so if you are a little curious, you can check it out. It will serve as a small preview to what you are about to witness in the future though I intend on making this blog more personal. http://dee_88.blogs.friendster.com/pages_of_my_life/ ADIOS AMIGOS!!! catch ya soon enough!
Sometimes i wonder,
If the only parts of my life are all errs and blunder,
Pain and sorrow engulf me,
My heart yearns a moment to be free,
But blinding pain is immortalized,
As rejection, betrayal and denial is realized,
False hope implicated,
More antagonizing moments these emotionscreated,
Every tear that streams by,
Resembles a singular lie,
That my heart has managed to deceive,
In failure to receive,
The only feeling my heart yearns for,
That one true love will come knocking on my door,
Yet only angst seems to come my way,
As i sit by pain, i pray,
Won’t fate sympathize,
Won’t god hear my desperate cries,
The endless tears I shed at night,
As I clutch my heart and and weep all my might,
So much pain has this heart endured,
Nothing in life had i allured,
Gone are the days of smiles and laughter,
Those are but a memory long after,
My life embodies what fate defies,
My heart gives life to what fate denies,
All of which i end in turmoil,
As my heart is toy played with and toiled,
I am nothing but a lifeless shell,
And you have heard a tale and all that it has to tell,
So now decide,
If god does abide,
To cries and prayers,
As i have waited an eternity in my lifeless years,
As baring my soul,
I let my tale unravel,
I allow it to unfold
If the only parts of my life are all errs and blunder,
Pain and sorrow engulf me,
My heart yearns a moment to be free,
But blinding pain is immortalized,
As rejection, betrayal and denial is realized,
False hope implicated,
More antagonizing moments these emotionscreated,
Every tear that streams by,
Resembles a singular lie,
That my heart has managed to deceive,
In failure to receive,
The only feeling my heart yearns for,
That one true love will come knocking on my door,
Yet only angst seems to come my way,
As i sit by pain, i pray,
Won’t fate sympathize,
Won’t god hear my desperate cries,
The endless tears I shed at night,
As I clutch my heart and and weep all my might,
So much pain has this heart endured,
Nothing in life had i allured,
Gone are the days of smiles and laughter,
Those are but a memory long after,
My life embodies what fate defies,
My heart gives life to what fate denies,
All of which i end in turmoil,
As my heart is toy played with and toiled,
I am nothing but a lifeless shell,
And you have heard a tale and all that it has to tell,
So now decide,
If god does abide,
To cries and prayers,
As i have waited an eternity in my lifeless years,
As baring my soul,
I let my tale unravel,
I allow it to unfold
Nights once veiled in obscurity,
Tainted from view and clarity,
Overshadowed from the glimpse of light,
Prescience of joy eluding sight,
As dusk settles,
The truth nettles,
Where the veils are lifted for a glimpse at the harrowing eyes,
Eyes that justice and joy denies,
Sorrow that brims from the eyelid,
Pride that seems worthy of a mere bid,
Destiny entwined with a meaningless existence,
Nothing to account for but mere presence,
Her tears brings storms of agony,
Her pains so many,
Yet, a pillar of strength she stands,
Her family through everything she defends,
A rose in a barren land,
She is the gentle hand,
Caress and hold,
Unflinchingly she molds,
Character and love,
The blessing from the stars above,
As the light slices through the dusky night,
The angst takes flight,
Twinkling stars clutter the now lit skies,
And destiny is defied……
Tainted from view and clarity,
Overshadowed from the glimpse of light,
Prescience of joy eluding sight,
As dusk settles,
The truth nettles,
Where the veils are lifted for a glimpse at the harrowing eyes,
Eyes that justice and joy denies,
Sorrow that brims from the eyelid,
Pride that seems worthy of a mere bid,
Destiny entwined with a meaningless existence,
Nothing to account for but mere presence,
Her tears brings storms of agony,
Her pains so many,
Yet, a pillar of strength she stands,
Her family through everything she defends,
A rose in a barren land,
She is the gentle hand,
Caress and hold,
Unflinchingly she molds,
Character and love,
The blessing from the stars above,
As the light slices through the dusky night,
The angst takes flight,
Twinkling stars clutter the now lit skies,
And destiny is defied……
"I disapprove of what you say, but I will defend your right to say it anyway". Friends.
Loyalty, sincerity, compassion, exuberance and so many more criteria make up the ideal companion at any given time, a friend. I always believed that the basis to every existing relationship would have to be the combined efforts of both trust and loyalty. I chose the word loyalty instead of devotion as I found that devotion was a word that was too strong. Devotion called for support without question but that goes against the very principle of individuation. How is anyone supposed to conform to something without the slightest ounce of intrigue or even curiosity? Is a friend true when they require you to stand by their side even when you feel that what you are backing goes against the very nature of your beliefs?
How does friendship call for all this? Well, to me friendship is something that brings out the best in people. It brings out the differences in individuals and accentuates these deviations for every person is distinctive in their own natural way and it is more than wrong to expect them to compel to emotional bonds by suppresing their true individuality and most importantly, their conscience and conceptions. Friendship has been the bond that has held its respect true to my heart all this while. It requires the firm and unbinding commitment that we bestow upon it and never has demanded for more than we are able to give. This is quite the contrary with other relationships, including romantically insinuating ones.
But then again, the main question at hand would be what is the perfect friendship then? A person who’s always there to share your ups and downs? A person who knows your troubled by the mere sound of your voice or? A person who senses that you need them even without the slightest indication that you had thrown in their direction? I am more grateful than proud to say that I have friends such as these and never have I once felt like I was alone thanks to their constant care and reassurance. Never was I alone, with their continuous and unwavering faith and guidance. Everytime I shed a tear, every second that I was even remotely inflicted with pain, they were right there by my side to carress and soothe my injured self-esteem. But right there at that very moment I had found individuals who had held me close to their hearts and cared deeply for not only my well-being but most importantly my sanity and clarity of emotions.
I have no displeasure in saying that there have been people that surround me with the notion of being "friends" but then again all that they had wanted is an oppotunity to use me in their own favor. Well, being used isn’t something new to me but then again I had consoled myself that I had better and more worthy friends that I could always rely on. Friends that cared about me because they loved me as the individual that they had come to know and that they had seen grow over the years. One thing that I have realized with unbinding relationships especially ones that are bound by emotion but relent of all other forms of commitment, we find most of our friends drifting through time and space over the years leaving only bits of memoirs and reminiscence to filled the void in which their presence has left. It is truly difficult to watch them leave as you find a part of yourself torn apart as they leave, but then again that leaves more space for more friends.
The most beautiful miracles that I have found in life are the friends that I have both lost and earned throughout my life. I can’t even imagine a second without the very beings that so unselfishly and endearingly bestowed their time, thought and care for me. They are the family that I never had and they are the blessings that God chose to bless me with. No matter where they are, no matter what they do, no matter what happens through the course of time, all they have to do is think of me when they needed someone by their side, I will always be there. All it takes is a single thought in my direction and I will be there. A friend indeed is a friend there in need or otherwise too.
This is a little something that I feel I owe all the wonderful people that have so patiently and lovingly graced my life. These people have been more than wonderful in allowing me the chance to glimpse through their own lives. I love you guys and all that you have done for me. Your mere presence in my life has been the core of my existence and there is nothing more that I can say or do to tell you how much you guys mean the world to me.
1) The prefect board n PBSM n Eng Society n Recycling Campaign n every other association I had been a part of. (2001-2005)
2) SMKSJ and SKSSJ ( for your wonderful years of education)
3) Inti College Subang - for the wonderful year that I had,it was the best year of my life.
4) All the juniors that I have left behind to carry on our legacy. Our continous love and support will always be yours.
5) Last but not least, to my truest friends that I have come to know throughout my life:-
Sarah- my conscience
Naji- my fun factor
Joshi- my darling junior
Rakesh- a friend indeed
Yvonne- the adorable sweet girl
JP- my fav and darling "penolong"
Kiran- the voice of my intellectual reason
Jason- the sweetest guy i know
Syamin and Sara- class wud never have been the same without u guys
and for the people that i had not mentioned, my apologies but rest assured that u will forever hold a place on my heart….
Loyalty, sincerity, compassion, exuberance and so many more criteria make up the ideal companion at any given time, a friend. I always believed that the basis to every existing relationship would have to be the combined efforts of both trust and loyalty. I chose the word loyalty instead of devotion as I found that devotion was a word that was too strong. Devotion called for support without question but that goes against the very principle of individuation. How is anyone supposed to conform to something without the slightest ounce of intrigue or even curiosity? Is a friend true when they require you to stand by their side even when you feel that what you are backing goes against the very nature of your beliefs?
How does friendship call for all this? Well, to me friendship is something that brings out the best in people. It brings out the differences in individuals and accentuates these deviations for every person is distinctive in their own natural way and it is more than wrong to expect them to compel to emotional bonds by suppresing their true individuality and most importantly, their conscience and conceptions. Friendship has been the bond that has held its respect true to my heart all this while. It requires the firm and unbinding commitment that we bestow upon it and never has demanded for more than we are able to give. This is quite the contrary with other relationships, including romantically insinuating ones.
But then again, the main question at hand would be what is the perfect friendship then? A person who’s always there to share your ups and downs? A person who knows your troubled by the mere sound of your voice or? A person who senses that you need them even without the slightest indication that you had thrown in their direction? I am more grateful than proud to say that I have friends such as these and never have I once felt like I was alone thanks to their constant care and reassurance. Never was I alone, with their continuous and unwavering faith and guidance. Everytime I shed a tear, every second that I was even remotely inflicted with pain, they were right there by my side to carress and soothe my injured self-esteem. But right there at that very moment I had found individuals who had held me close to their hearts and cared deeply for not only my well-being but most importantly my sanity and clarity of emotions.
I have no displeasure in saying that there have been people that surround me with the notion of being "friends" but then again all that they had wanted is an oppotunity to use me in their own favor. Well, being used isn’t something new to me but then again I had consoled myself that I had better and more worthy friends that I could always rely on. Friends that cared about me because they loved me as the individual that they had come to know and that they had seen grow over the years. One thing that I have realized with unbinding relationships especially ones that are bound by emotion but relent of all other forms of commitment, we find most of our friends drifting through time and space over the years leaving only bits of memoirs and reminiscence to filled the void in which their presence has left. It is truly difficult to watch them leave as you find a part of yourself torn apart as they leave, but then again that leaves more space for more friends.
The most beautiful miracles that I have found in life are the friends that I have both lost and earned throughout my life. I can’t even imagine a second without the very beings that so unselfishly and endearingly bestowed their time, thought and care for me. They are the family that I never had and they are the blessings that God chose to bless me with. No matter where they are, no matter what they do, no matter what happens through the course of time, all they have to do is think of me when they needed someone by their side, I will always be there. All it takes is a single thought in my direction and I will be there. A friend indeed is a friend there in need or otherwise too.
This is a little something that I feel I owe all the wonderful people that have so patiently and lovingly graced my life. These people have been more than wonderful in allowing me the chance to glimpse through their own lives. I love you guys and all that you have done for me. Your mere presence in my life has been the core of my existence and there is nothing more that I can say or do to tell you how much you guys mean the world to me.
1) The prefect board n PBSM n Eng Society n Recycling Campaign n every other association I had been a part of. (2001-2005)
2) SMKSJ and SKSSJ ( for your wonderful years of education)
3) Inti College Subang - for the wonderful year that I had,it was the best year of my life.
4) All the juniors that I have left behind to carry on our legacy. Our continous love and support will always be yours.
5) Last but not least, to my truest friends that I have come to know throughout my life:-
Sarah- my conscience
Naji- my fun factor
Joshi- my darling junior
Rakesh- a friend indeed
Yvonne- the adorable sweet girl
JP- my fav and darling "penolong"
Kiran- the voice of my intellectual reason
Jason- the sweetest guy i know
Syamin and Sara- class wud never have been the same without u guys
and for the people that i had not mentioned, my apologies but rest assured that u will forever hold a place on my heart….
Smiles and frowns,
Ups and downs,
Tears and laughter,
A story of before and after,
Life thats filled with these little miracles,
Of little trials and debacles,
The cherished moments spent in its presence,
Tributes and penance,
All of these make us human,
Though it may sound common,
These natural beauties are the magic that life bestows,
The morning that we awaken to the raven’s crows,
The night we embrace with a glimpse of the moon,
Just hoping that soon,
Life would bring another miracle to sight,
With this hope close to heart we kiss darkness goodnight,
Slipping into a night that falls with veils of shimmering dreams,
Flowing and weaving around us like soft colorful streams,
Heaven’s gates open and we ascend,
This is the magic that the night sends…..
Ups and downs,
Tears and laughter,
A story of before and after,
Life thats filled with these little miracles,
Of little trials and debacles,
The cherished moments spent in its presence,
Tributes and penance,
All of these make us human,
Though it may sound common,
These natural beauties are the magic that life bestows,
The morning that we awaken to the raven’s crows,
The night we embrace with a glimpse of the moon,
Just hoping that soon,
Life would bring another miracle to sight,
With this hope close to heart we kiss darkness goodnight,
Slipping into a night that falls with veils of shimmering dreams,
Flowing and weaving around us like soft colorful streams,
Heaven’s gates open and we ascend,
This is the magic that the night sends…..
Monday, August 13, 2007
An Extraordinary Outing On An Ordinary Day
Another couple of days has passed since last friday but I feel rather obliged to immortalize yesterday (saturday) as it has been an immensely enjoyable day. The day started a little mundane actually as our mobilization at Taman Petaling took a rather slow start but we managed to perk things up in the script reading session as the kids drew energy to go through their practice session with exuberance. It was fun watching them try and work hard at achieving their own intended individual goals. But after our mobilization, Samenti, Kaleena, Grace and myself decided that we would head on down to MidValley to search for face paint for the kids drama act as the deadline for the production was drawing eerily closer minute after minute. I could almost feel my heart race the minute I thought of this subject in particular. But after nearly 2 hours of scavenging, our efforts were fruitless. The disappointing visit to Toys R' Us (where we were told to go moreover) and MegaKidz as well as Jusco and ToyCity had dampened our spirits. The only slight picker-upper (yeah I know I just made that word up, its my blog, so sue me! hehehe) was that Sharanya had joined us just as we left the last place (Jusco) and we all decided that we needed a little fuelling so we headed off to Anna Lakshmi for a nice traditional indian fare. Being students, we are very budget conscious and Anna Lakshmi was the apt destination for us (you can enjoy a good meal and pay what you feel is appropriate to what you have consumed, its a charity joint) so we marched right there. Being girls, our hearty meal was accompanied by cheery banter, cheeky laughs and girly giggles. For the first time, I felt that I had truly bonded with my Mentoring Mates and it was really super fun as we laughed, ate and drank together. After all that, we decided that we still needed to get some white cloth for our banner so we headed down to Kamdar as our final destination as Kaleena needed to go back (and so did I!) There we had some fun with the guy who served us as our darling Grace addressed this guy that was no older than we were as "Pak Cik" As soon as she uttered these words the four of us burst out laughing and she blushed from head to toe. Even the guy had to smile rather shyly. It was hilarious and the joke stuck throughout as the guy began addressing Grace as "Mak Cik". Poor Grace was trying her level best to keep a calm face but she looked so flushed that a mere glance at her gave her away. Sharanya continued the joke by taking almost forever to decide how much cloth to get for the backdrop for her team. On a normal occasion it would have been exasperating but here it was more fun than irking. Moving on, we headed back to the LRT station as Samenti and I had parked the car in Asia Jaya and that I needed to drop Kaleena back. Before leaving MidValley though it was decided that Samenti would go back to Bangsar with Sharanya after getting her car as she wanted to check out this shop that was supposedly selling face paint. So we parted ways with Grace at the LRT station and Kaleena, Samenti, Sharanya and I headed to Asia Jaya. Upon reaching Asia Jaya, Sharanya announced that she was hungry and we all decided that we could do with a nice cold rootbeer float (it was scorching hot that day!) Kaleena rode with me while Samenti and Sharanya rode together. After getting to A&W we ordered our floats and curly fries (I had onion rings as usual) while Sharanya had waffles with ice cream, we sat down to another session of laughter and chatter. So after more laughter, giggles and talk we said our goodbyes and left at about 5 plus. I drove Kaleena back to One Utama and headed back for my alternative refuge. As ordinary as this may seem to some, I have to say that it was rather fulfilling for me and I enjoyed Saturday more than anything. Apart from meaning that it was enjoyable in the "lepak" mode, I felt that I had discovered a more relax part of my colleagues and for the first time, we weren't mere colleagues but we had become truly friends.
Friday, August 10, 2007
tHe jUngLe oF kNoWLedGe!!!!
weeelll, i know i sorta promised a daily account of things but i haven't been able to find the free time unfortunately.... So sad so sad.... But ive gotta say that apart from the last 8 days, it has been absolute fun! I mean I joined this program called Mentoring Malaysia and wow! was i amazed!! i mean, its funny to think that psychology students are so excited about virtually anything.... ( a mere trip to Rimba Ilmu aka the Jungle of Knowledge was a blast! and well, being a person who is all for the positive youth development! god i will remember this phrase till my very end thankz to ARCCADE which by the way stands for Asian Research Center for Child and Adolescent Development) Though I felt a little sad that I had genuinely sacrificed my holidays (we were required to come in practically everyday to college for some reason or the other, trainig, briefings, etc etc...) but man, I could never have chosen a more productive way of spending my break! being a mentor has definitely changed my perspective and this experience has been a ground breaking one in my life!!! Many people misconstrue the field of psychology as being able to comprehend practically everything and most people turn a bling eye to the very fact that psychologists or psychology students are human beings juz like every other individual. We're not perfect and neither are we the poster children of angelicism. But well, i have to say that this has been a one in a lifetime chance and I truly owe my inspirations to people like Dr. Brendan (who is almost ALWAYZ POSITITVE, really, you can tell him anything and he'll show you the silver lining! quite frustrating at times to see someone so cheery! hehehe!) then there's Patricia (she's a ball of fun though she's not even close to a ball! but well, Pat juz has this way of making everything feel great!) Jaime is the quiet one (really, she is so docile that you can never imagine her mad in a million gazillion years!) Usha is another fun person though she is also a little quiet ( and they say I sound like her, sheesh, i sound like a wacko next to this completely calm and rational person! hehe) Jasmine is a ton of fun! The larger than life person who juz exudes vibrance as she lights up even the largest space with her spirit of fun (though she does seem to be perplexed with BM, yeah she's from UK so she's not well versed in Bahasa) then we have Eric. Eric looks a little serious but don't let the serious glasses fool you! He's as quirky and filled with a sense of humor that matches anyone elses. (GO ERIC! hehehe) then there's Daniel. Daniel is perhaps the most quiet and docile human being I have EVER MET!!! i mean really! he's soft spoken and always wears a smile! Honestly, I wonder where he has the energy to stay so calm and sane everyday!!! ( imagine his dedication, he travels 4 hours to and fro to work... he must REALLY love kids!!) and thats all of em at ARRCADE! but i must say that apart from working for remarkable souls I had the pleasure of working WITH wonderful peers. Kaleena is a sweet and warm friend, thats glowing with spirit and cheeriness. Grace is just as sweet as Kaleena and Grace has a sense of warmth that fills the team with so much security (she interns at ARRCADE so she's like OUR big sister! hehehe) and she LOVES purple! Janice is a quiet little person but you can totally rely on her to help! Mrema is fun and always ready with in put and help! then there's Samenti our team coordinator. Samenti is fun and always filled with positivity and she's super cool! and then there's me!! I'm not about to describe myself but for those who know me... hehehe... you know me! well, im signing off now! A fun and totally wonderful day!!!
Thursday, August 02, 2007
The Introductory
Well, well, well, seeing that this is my very first post I think a little introduction is in order... SO, my name is Deeviana Sinnu and im currently 19 attending HELP University. hmm... i rather dislike describing myself as this is my BLOG and not my BIODATA. So if those out there who wish to seek the additional info about me and my various insane questst do check out my profile as well. Im insightful when I choose to be all prophetic and I can seem a little weird at times ( you've been warned! ) I'm a psychology major but please people, STOP with the psycho quotes and jokes! I'm still sane you know! (or at least I think I am) I am open to criticism about all I am about to post in the future so please leave your thoughts and CONSTRUCTIVE criticisms as they are more than welcome (do not spurn my wrath with your words of folly! for the consequences are dire! you have been warned!) hehehe.... so for all you people who know me, HELLO once again! and for those who don't its nice to meet you! and hoping that this may be another blogging experience worth holding close to heart!! I already have another blog which is evidently filled with more stuff than this so if you are a little curious, you can check it out. It will serve as a small preview to what you are about to witness in the future though I intend on making this blog more personal. http://dee_88.blogs.friendster.com/pages_of_my_life/ ADIOS AMIGOS!!! catch ya soon enough!
Tuesday, April 17, 2007
A Tale Of Destiny
Sometimes i wonder,
If the only parts of my life are all errs and blunder,
Pain and sorrow engulf me,
My heart yearns a moment to be free,
But blinding pain is immortalized,
As rejection, betrayal and denial is realized,
False hope implicated,
More antagonizing moments these emotionscreated,
Every tear that streams by,
Resembles a singular lie,
That my heart has managed to deceive,
In failure to receive,
The only feeling my heart yearns for,
That one true love will come knocking on my door,
Yet only angst seems to come my way,
As i sit by pain, i pray,
Won’t fate sympathize,
Won’t god hear my desperate cries,
The endless tears I shed at night,
As I clutch my heart and and weep all my might,
So much pain has this heart endured,
Nothing in life had i allured,
Gone are the days of smiles and laughter,
Those are but a memory long after,
My life embodies what fate defies,
My heart gives life to what fate denies,
All of which i end in turmoil,
As my heart is toy played with and toiled,
I am nothing but a lifeless shell,
And you have heard a tale and all that it has to tell,
So now decide,
If god does abide,
To cries and prayers,
As i have waited an eternity in my lifeless years,
As baring my soul,
I let my tale unravel,
I allow it to unfold
If the only parts of my life are all errs and blunder,
Pain and sorrow engulf me,
My heart yearns a moment to be free,
But blinding pain is immortalized,
As rejection, betrayal and denial is realized,
False hope implicated,
More antagonizing moments these emotionscreated,
Every tear that streams by,
Resembles a singular lie,
That my heart has managed to deceive,
In failure to receive,
The only feeling my heart yearns for,
That one true love will come knocking on my door,
Yet only angst seems to come my way,
As i sit by pain, i pray,
Won’t fate sympathize,
Won’t god hear my desperate cries,
The endless tears I shed at night,
As I clutch my heart and and weep all my might,
So much pain has this heart endured,
Nothing in life had i allured,
Gone are the days of smiles and laughter,
Those are but a memory long after,
My life embodies what fate defies,
My heart gives life to what fate denies,
All of which i end in turmoil,
As my heart is toy played with and toiled,
I am nothing but a lifeless shell,
And you have heard a tale and all that it has to tell,
So now decide,
If god does abide,
To cries and prayers,
As i have waited an eternity in my lifeless years,
As baring my soul,
I let my tale unravel,
I allow it to unfold
Tuesday, April 10, 2007
Veils of the Night
Nights once veiled in obscurity,
Tainted from view and clarity,
Overshadowed from the glimpse of light,
Prescience of joy eluding sight,
As dusk settles,
The truth nettles,
Where the veils are lifted for a glimpse at the harrowing eyes,
Eyes that justice and joy denies,
Sorrow that brims from the eyelid,
Pride that seems worthy of a mere bid,
Destiny entwined with a meaningless existence,
Nothing to account for but mere presence,
Her tears brings storms of agony,
Her pains so many,
Yet, a pillar of strength she stands,
Her family through everything she defends,
A rose in a barren land,
She is the gentle hand,
Caress and hold,
Unflinchingly she molds,
Character and love,
The blessing from the stars above,
As the light slices through the dusky night,
The angst takes flight,
Twinkling stars clutter the now lit skies,
And destiny is defied……
Tainted from view and clarity,
Overshadowed from the glimpse of light,
Prescience of joy eluding sight,
As dusk settles,
The truth nettles,
Where the veils are lifted for a glimpse at the harrowing eyes,
Eyes that justice and joy denies,
Sorrow that brims from the eyelid,
Pride that seems worthy of a mere bid,
Destiny entwined with a meaningless existence,
Nothing to account for but mere presence,
Her tears brings storms of agony,
Her pains so many,
Yet, a pillar of strength she stands,
Her family through everything she defends,
A rose in a barren land,
She is the gentle hand,
Caress and hold,
Unflinchingly she molds,
Character and love,
The blessing from the stars above,
As the light slices through the dusky night,
The angst takes flight,
Twinkling stars clutter the now lit skies,
And destiny is defied……
The Miracles of Life
"I disapprove of what you say, but I will defend your right to say it anyway". Friends.
Loyalty, sincerity, compassion, exuberance and so many more criteria make up the ideal companion at any given time, a friend. I always believed that the basis to every existing relationship would have to be the combined efforts of both trust and loyalty. I chose the word loyalty instead of devotion as I found that devotion was a word that was too strong. Devotion called for support without question but that goes against the very principle of individuation. How is anyone supposed to conform to something without the slightest ounce of intrigue or even curiosity? Is a friend true when they require you to stand by their side even when you feel that what you are backing goes against the very nature of your beliefs?
How does friendship call for all this? Well, to me friendship is something that brings out the best in people. It brings out the differences in individuals and accentuates these deviations for every person is distinctive in their own natural way and it is more than wrong to expect them to compel to emotional bonds by suppresing their true individuality and most importantly, their conscience and conceptions. Friendship has been the bond that has held its respect true to my heart all this while. It requires the firm and unbinding commitment that we bestow upon it and never has demanded for more than we are able to give. This is quite the contrary with other relationships, including romantically insinuating ones.
But then again, the main question at hand would be what is the perfect friendship then? A person who’s always there to share your ups and downs? A person who knows your troubled by the mere sound of your voice or? A person who senses that you need them even without the slightest indication that you had thrown in their direction? I am more grateful than proud to say that I have friends such as these and never have I once felt like I was alone thanks to their constant care and reassurance. Never was I alone, with their continuous and unwavering faith and guidance. Everytime I shed a tear, every second that I was even remotely inflicted with pain, they were right there by my side to carress and soothe my injured self-esteem. But right there at that very moment I had found individuals who had held me close to their hearts and cared deeply for not only my well-being but most importantly my sanity and clarity of emotions.
I have no displeasure in saying that there have been people that surround me with the notion of being "friends" but then again all that they had wanted is an oppotunity to use me in their own favor. Well, being used isn’t something new to me but then again I had consoled myself that I had better and more worthy friends that I could always rely on. Friends that cared about me because they loved me as the individual that they had come to know and that they had seen grow over the years. One thing that I have realized with unbinding relationships especially ones that are bound by emotion but relent of all other forms of commitment, we find most of our friends drifting through time and space over the years leaving only bits of memoirs and reminiscence to filled the void in which their presence has left. It is truly difficult to watch them leave as you find a part of yourself torn apart as they leave, but then again that leaves more space for more friends.
The most beautiful miracles that I have found in life are the friends that I have both lost and earned throughout my life. I can’t even imagine a second without the very beings that so unselfishly and endearingly bestowed their time, thought and care for me. They are the family that I never had and they are the blessings that God chose to bless me with. No matter where they are, no matter what they do, no matter what happens through the course of time, all they have to do is think of me when they needed someone by their side, I will always be there. All it takes is a single thought in my direction and I will be there. A friend indeed is a friend there in need or otherwise too.
This is a little something that I feel I owe all the wonderful people that have so patiently and lovingly graced my life. These people have been more than wonderful in allowing me the chance to glimpse through their own lives. I love you guys and all that you have done for me. Your mere presence in my life has been the core of my existence and there is nothing more that I can say or do to tell you how much you guys mean the world to me.
1) The prefect board n PBSM n Eng Society n Recycling Campaign n every other association I had been a part of. (2001-2005)
2) SMKSJ and SKSSJ ( for your wonderful years of education)
3) Inti College Subang - for the wonderful year that I had,it was the best year of my life.
4) All the juniors that I have left behind to carry on our legacy. Our continous love and support will always be yours.
5) Last but not least, to my truest friends that I have come to know throughout my life:-
Sarah- my conscience
Naji- my fun factor
Joshi- my darling junior
Rakesh- a friend indeed
Yvonne- the adorable sweet girl
JP- my fav and darling "penolong"
Kiran- the voice of my intellectual reason
Jason- the sweetest guy i know
Syamin and Sara- class wud never have been the same without u guys
and for the people that i had not mentioned, my apologies but rest assured that u will forever hold a place on my heart….
Loyalty, sincerity, compassion, exuberance and so many more criteria make up the ideal companion at any given time, a friend. I always believed that the basis to every existing relationship would have to be the combined efforts of both trust and loyalty. I chose the word loyalty instead of devotion as I found that devotion was a word that was too strong. Devotion called for support without question but that goes against the very principle of individuation. How is anyone supposed to conform to something without the slightest ounce of intrigue or even curiosity? Is a friend true when they require you to stand by their side even when you feel that what you are backing goes against the very nature of your beliefs?
How does friendship call for all this? Well, to me friendship is something that brings out the best in people. It brings out the differences in individuals and accentuates these deviations for every person is distinctive in their own natural way and it is more than wrong to expect them to compel to emotional bonds by suppresing their true individuality and most importantly, their conscience and conceptions. Friendship has been the bond that has held its respect true to my heart all this while. It requires the firm and unbinding commitment that we bestow upon it and never has demanded for more than we are able to give. This is quite the contrary with other relationships, including romantically insinuating ones.
But then again, the main question at hand would be what is the perfect friendship then? A person who’s always there to share your ups and downs? A person who knows your troubled by the mere sound of your voice or? A person who senses that you need them even without the slightest indication that you had thrown in their direction? I am more grateful than proud to say that I have friends such as these and never have I once felt like I was alone thanks to their constant care and reassurance. Never was I alone, with their continuous and unwavering faith and guidance. Everytime I shed a tear, every second that I was even remotely inflicted with pain, they were right there by my side to carress and soothe my injured self-esteem. But right there at that very moment I had found individuals who had held me close to their hearts and cared deeply for not only my well-being but most importantly my sanity and clarity of emotions.
I have no displeasure in saying that there have been people that surround me with the notion of being "friends" but then again all that they had wanted is an oppotunity to use me in their own favor. Well, being used isn’t something new to me but then again I had consoled myself that I had better and more worthy friends that I could always rely on. Friends that cared about me because they loved me as the individual that they had come to know and that they had seen grow over the years. One thing that I have realized with unbinding relationships especially ones that are bound by emotion but relent of all other forms of commitment, we find most of our friends drifting through time and space over the years leaving only bits of memoirs and reminiscence to filled the void in which their presence has left. It is truly difficult to watch them leave as you find a part of yourself torn apart as they leave, but then again that leaves more space for more friends.
The most beautiful miracles that I have found in life are the friends that I have both lost and earned throughout my life. I can’t even imagine a second without the very beings that so unselfishly and endearingly bestowed their time, thought and care for me. They are the family that I never had and they are the blessings that God chose to bless me with. No matter where they are, no matter what they do, no matter what happens through the course of time, all they have to do is think of me when they needed someone by their side, I will always be there. All it takes is a single thought in my direction and I will be there. A friend indeed is a friend there in need or otherwise too.
This is a little something that I feel I owe all the wonderful people that have so patiently and lovingly graced my life. These people have been more than wonderful in allowing me the chance to glimpse through their own lives. I love you guys and all that you have done for me. Your mere presence in my life has been the core of my existence and there is nothing more that I can say or do to tell you how much you guys mean the world to me.
1) The prefect board n PBSM n Eng Society n Recycling Campaign n every other association I had been a part of. (2001-2005)
2) SMKSJ and SKSSJ ( for your wonderful years of education)
3) Inti College Subang - for the wonderful year that I had,it was the best year of my life.
4) All the juniors that I have left behind to carry on our legacy. Our continous love and support will always be yours.
5) Last but not least, to my truest friends that I have come to know throughout my life:-
Sarah- my conscience
Naji- my fun factor
Joshi- my darling junior
Rakesh- a friend indeed
Yvonne- the adorable sweet girl
JP- my fav and darling "penolong"
Kiran- the voice of my intellectual reason
Jason- the sweetest guy i know
Syamin and Sara- class wud never have been the same without u guys
and for the people that i had not mentioned, my apologies but rest assured that u will forever hold a place on my heart….
Sunday, April 08, 2007
A NightFall…..
Smiles and frowns,
Ups and downs,
Tears and laughter,
A story of before and after,
Life thats filled with these little miracles,
Of little trials and debacles,
The cherished moments spent in its presence,
Tributes and penance,
All of these make us human,
Though it may sound common,
These natural beauties are the magic that life bestows,
The morning that we awaken to the raven’s crows,
The night we embrace with a glimpse of the moon,
Just hoping that soon,
Life would bring another miracle to sight,
With this hope close to heart we kiss darkness goodnight,
Slipping into a night that falls with veils of shimmering dreams,
Flowing and weaving around us like soft colorful streams,
Heaven’s gates open and we ascend,
This is the magic that the night sends…..
Ups and downs,
Tears and laughter,
A story of before and after,
Life thats filled with these little miracles,
Of little trials and debacles,
The cherished moments spent in its presence,
Tributes and penance,
All of these make us human,
Though it may sound common,
These natural beauties are the magic that life bestows,
The morning that we awaken to the raven’s crows,
The night we embrace with a glimpse of the moon,
Just hoping that soon,
Life would bring another miracle to sight,
With this hope close to heart we kiss darkness goodnight,
Slipping into a night that falls with veils of shimmering dreams,
Flowing and weaving around us like soft colorful streams,
Heaven’s gates open and we ascend,
This is the magic that the night sends…..
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