Dee
Wading through a shallow creek,
As water trickles from a filled out left cheek,
I rest myself on a hard but sturdy rock,
And I smile as I watch little fishes flock,
The sun is bright but hides from time to time behind wispy clouds,
The place is quiet but not without absence crowds,
Its tranquility, serenity, beauty....
I weep at its simplicity....
For such with such simplicity comes a whirlwind of intricate complexity,
But yet, granted alongside is the innate ability,
To appreciate, adore and cherish all that has been granted,
And to yearn for all that is desired....

Love fills every inch of this haven,
Looking ever so much as an innocently painted heaven,
Memories and lessons of life that seem to hold true,
And people who believe them and see them through,
Love and care is all that these beings share,
Doing only as their heart deems fair,
Yet, untainted is their notions,
And furthermore so their intentions,
A world where ignorance truly is bliss,
And each with actions as innocent and sweet as a child's kiss,

Purity untainted,
Courage undaunted,
Love never diminished,
Care never needing to be replenished,
Strength unshaken,
Bond unbroken,

A world of bliss at its truest,
But is it a creation at its greatest?

Dee
Life has been such a blessing lately... I mean wow... I'm finally getting a handle on things and the grimmest of grim affairs does in its own weird way actually look pretty endearing. Sigh... I am happy =) And my black nail polish looks like crap. Shit. Somethings I suppose never change. Its the start of a new semester and already cracks or forming at what is supposed to be a smooth transition into my final year abroad. Complications have come about but seeing that this isn't in my control neither is it my fault, I'm going to push till I get my way. I will break through this and I will make things happen for myself. No pain, no gain right?

The gym has basically been the highlight of my entire holiday existence. It has served its purpose by making me feel more invigorated and more charged with energy. On top of that, Saturday's personal training session left me closer to DEATH than I have ever been before. I recall Jill saying that I, apparently, have more stamina than her. My freaking toes are laughing now. Apart from the fact that the rest of my body is screaming in agony. Its good pain, good pain. And now I think for some insane reason, I'm about to purchase 3 extra personal training sessions. God help me figure out why? I know its for my own good.... BUT THE PAIN!!!! YIKES!!! I had to baby sit 3 kids the next day and honestly, I in the true sense of the word, PANICKED! I survived the agonizing hours by sheer luck! Nothing more than sheer luck... And of course with the sacrifice of my mom's collection of Japanese figurines... Ah well, good riddance I think.. hehe...

So far a pretty spectacular day in all its flaws and mishaps! Another one I would never trade for anything else in the world!

Love and Hugs....
Dee
Wow... so much for keeping a promise... I took a LONG break from blogging... Let me first admit that it was a very conscious decision and I'm not going to blame time or circumstances for anything. In fact, there was many a times when I had literally sat down to blog but just couldn't. Life has been a little complicated, I will have to admit and for the very first time in a long while, I felt robbed of the ability to vent. I just felt like curling in bed and mourning my losses and gains (to a certain extent) or drowning myself with a new obsession. I chose the latter. I've been downloading all games imaginable and going through them painstakingly, one after the other. Confusion has set about brewing and stirring within me, bringing about it the usual, pain, tears, amazement (literally that I could feel the things I do), bafflement, and so many others (I know most of you would think that if a person could feel so many emotions all at one go they would stop functioning normally- guess what, you're right!)

Its been an erratic rollercoaster ride for my emotions. But hey, exciting isn't it? If you answered yes that I've gotta say.... YOU'RE FREAKING INSANE!!! Damn! I wish I could move on with life. Everytime I say I do, its not so much convincing the person I'm saying it to, its more an act of conviction for my own sanity. I need to get over this hurdle, I know first times are rather difficult but seriously! This is bloody pathetic! This is all your fault, divine being! If you had given us autonomy of our emotions. I know you did, but you placed that nagging emotion, that plaguing feeling behind as well. I don't know what the heck its called. I can't name it. Or rather I don't want to. Sigh...

There's a lot that I will say soon but as for a simple post, I believe this outta do it =)
Dee
Looking at the face that stares back in the mirror,
I feel the pain, the hurt, the horror,
Who is she?
Is that me?
Tears well up in those foreign eyes,
A life filled with lies?
But to whom does this heart lie
To whom does it cry,
A world filled with strangers,
Turmoil, tears and dangers,
They stare back, cold and hard,
Harder yet is their heart,

Venom reeks with their single gaze,
The kill this innocence with their hurtful graze,
Words that seem so trivial,
Are the most evil,

Where would this heart seek solace,
How would it escape this cursem,
Doomed for an eternity,
It can never be set free
Dee
Immortalized. Forever. With Love.

You Are Not Alone- Michael Jackson

Another day has gone
I'm still all alone
How could this be
You're not here with me
You never said goodbye
Someone tell me why
Did you have to go
And leave my world so cold

Everyday I sit and ask myself
How did love slip away
Something whispers in my ear and says
That you are not alone
For I am here with you
Though you're far away
I am here to stay

But you are not alone
For I am here with you
Though we're far apart
You're always in my heart
But you are not alone

'Lone, 'lone
Why, 'lone

Just the other night
I thought I heard you cry
Asking me to come
And hold you in my arms
I can hear your prayers
Your burdens I will bear
But first I need your hand
Then forever can begin

Everyday I sit and ask myself
How did love slip away
Something whispers in my ear and says
That you are not alone
For I am here with you
Though you're far away
I am here to stay

For you are not alone
For I am here with you
Though we're far apart
You're always in my heart
For you are not alone

Whisper three words and I'll come runnin'
And girl you know that I'll be there
I'll be there

You are not alone
For I am here with you
Though you're far away
I am here to stay
For you are not alone
For I am here with you
Though we're far apart
You're always in my heart

For you are not alone
For I am here with you
Though you're far away
I am here to stay

For you are not alone
For I am here with you
Though we're far apart
You're always in my heart

For you are not alone...

Dee
I'm completely addicted to this song now.... Love you, MJ... May your soul find eternal peace and joy.

Heal The World- Michael Jackson

There's A Place In
Your Heart
And I Know That It Is Love
And This Place Could
Be Much
Brighter Than Tomorrow
And If You Really Try
You'll Find There's No Need
To Cry
In This Place You'll Feel
There's No Hurt Or Sorrow

There Are Ways
To Get There
If You Care Enough
For The Living
Make A Little Space
Make A Better Place...

Heal The World
Make It A Better Place
For You And For Me
And The Entire Human Race
There Are People Dying
If You Care Enough
For The Living
Make A Better Place
For You And For Me

If You Want To Know Why
There's A Love That
Cannot Lie
Love Is Strong
It Only Cares For
Joyful Giving
If We Try
We Shall See
In This Bliss
We Cannot Feel
Fear Or Dread
We Stop Existing And
Start Living

Then It Feels That Always
Love's Enough For
Us Growing
So Make A Better World
Make A Better World...

Heal The World
Make It A Better Place
For You And For Me
And The Entire Human Race
There Are People Dying
If You Care Enough
For The Living
Make A Better Place
For You And For Me

And The Dream We Were
Conceived In
Will Reveal A Joyful Face
And The World We
Once Believed In
Will Shine Again In Grace
Then Why Do We Keep
Strangling Life
Wound This Earth
Crucify Its Soul
Though It's Plain To See
This World Is Heavenly
Be God's Glow

We Could Fly So High
Let Our Spirits Never Die
In My Heart
I Feel You Are All
My Brothers
Create A World With
No Fear
Together We'll Cry
Happy Tears
See The Nations Turn
Their Swords
Into Plowshares

We Could Really Get There
If You Cared Enough
For The Living
Make A Little Space
To Make A Better Place...

Heal The World
Make It A Better Place
For You And For Me
And The Entire Human Race
There Are People Dying
If You Care Enough
For The Living
Make A Better Place
For You And For Me

Heal The World
Make It A Better Place
For You And For Me
And The Entire Human Race
There Are People Dying
If You Care Enough
For The Living
Make A Better Place
For You And For Me

Heal The World
Make It A Better Place
For You And For Me
And The Entire Human Race
There Are People Dying
If You Care Enough
For The Living
Make A Better Place
For You And For Me

There Are People Dying
If You Care Enough
For The Living
Make A Better Place
For You And For Me

There Are People Dying
If You Care Enough
For The Living
Make A Better Place
For You And For Me

You And For Me
You And For Me
You And For Me
You And For Me
You And For Me
You And For Me
You And For Me
You And For Me
You And For Me
You And For Me
You And For Me
Dee
I just finished watching Michael Jackson's memorial service and it was beautiful. This is my blog and one promise I made to myself was that no matter what the consequence, when I choose to write something, I will do so honestly and completely. I will not lie even if it means putting out some of my most private thoughts or this blog won't at all be representative of me. It would be fake or diminished in a large sense. A confession. A small one but a confession none the less. I never really saw myself as a Michael Jackson fan till the last week or so. Its always easier to turn a blind eye at what you have and you never really feel the presence it has on our life till we find it slipping away from us. I found this out the hard way. At first when I heard the news that Michael Jackson had passed away I was simply shocked and that was it. It was just shock, a suprise. I didn't feel overwhelmed or grieved or anything. Just suprised that he had suffered a cardiac arrest so close to the date of his said "greatest performance of his career".

Over the weeks, all the channels I've been watching have been playing Michael Jackson's videos and songs and I found myself wondering. How is it that I managed to let these tunes slip by through time? It was extremely contagious! And soon I was hooked. I began watching his music videos like Thriller and Ghosts. Ghosts I remember watching when I was 10 or so.... And I LOVED IT!! Its one of those things that you never quite forget. But Thriller I never really did watch as I was introduced to it at the age of 5 or 6 and the only part I watched was when he began to morph into a werewolf. That was more than I could take really, ran into the room terrified and refused to watch it. And it completely slipped out of my mind from then on.

I grew up listening to the Man in The Mirror, Black Or White, You Rock My World, Earth Song, Heal The World and my all time favourite You Are Not Alone. My dad who loved listening to Michael's songs introduced me to Beat It, Dirty Diana, Billie Jean, Smooth Criminal and Bad. But with time all these songs and Michael Jackson himself faded into the era of boybands and punk rock (which I'm not very proud of-but hey, I was a teen.)

Watching his tributes and life stories was suprisingly heart wrenching- I found myself strangely attached to this young little boy who grew in the public eye who seemed so humble and shy yet seemed to glow with an undefined light and he brimmed with talent. He was called a genius. He was a prodigy. Yet, with every great success story comes a sad accompaniment. The accusations and turmoil that it caused was insurmountable. But yet, anger and hate never seemed to fill this person. I kept thinking to myself, was doesn't he fight back? Why doesn't he use his anger or his hatred to fuel an attempt to salvage his dignity? I never really believed the allegations against him then but I do have to admit that these questions were always on my mind. I got the answer to my questions in this last week. Michaeld never retaliated with anger of hatred because he had none. His heart was pure and untainted by anger, hatred or any venomous notions.

He helped light so many dreams and gave so much in return for all that he had received. He lived a life of love, hope and dreams. He loved children with an innocence that most people twisted into a salacious deed. It was despicable. But he never let go. He kept dreaming. I can go on saying so much but the essence of what I had wanted to say has been said. Goodbye Michael, we'll live through your legacy and your life has been a blessing to us all.


Monday, August 24, 2009

Questions That Answers Can't Answer


Wading through a shallow creek,
As water trickles from a filled out left cheek,
I rest myself on a hard but sturdy rock,
And I smile as I watch little fishes flock,
The sun is bright but hides from time to time behind wispy clouds,
The place is quiet but not without absence crowds,
Its tranquility, serenity, beauty....
I weep at its simplicity....
For such with such simplicity comes a whirlwind of intricate complexity,
But yet, granted alongside is the innate ability,
To appreciate, adore and cherish all that has been granted,
And to yearn for all that is desired....

Love fills every inch of this haven,
Looking ever so much as an innocently painted heaven,
Memories and lessons of life that seem to hold true,
And people who believe them and see them through,
Love and care is all that these beings share,
Doing only as their heart deems fair,
Yet, untainted is their notions,
And furthermore so their intentions,
A world where ignorance truly is bliss,
And each with actions as innocent and sweet as a child's kiss,

Purity untainted,
Courage undaunted,
Love never diminished,
Care never needing to be replenished,
Strength unshaken,
Bond unbroken,

A world of bliss at its truest,
But is it a creation at its greatest?

Another Day A New Page


Life has been such a blessing lately... I mean wow... I'm finally getting a handle on things and the grimmest of grim affairs does in its own weird way actually look pretty endearing. Sigh... I am happy =) And my black nail polish looks like crap. Shit. Somethings I suppose never change. Its the start of a new semester and already cracks or forming at what is supposed to be a smooth transition into my final year abroad. Complications have come about but seeing that this isn't in my control neither is it my fault, I'm going to push till I get my way. I will break through this and I will make things happen for myself. No pain, no gain right?

The gym has basically been the highlight of my entire holiday existence. It has served its purpose by making me feel more invigorated and more charged with energy. On top of that, Saturday's personal training session left me closer to DEATH than I have ever been before. I recall Jill saying that I, apparently, have more stamina than her. My freaking toes are laughing now. Apart from the fact that the rest of my body is screaming in agony. Its good pain, good pain. And now I think for some insane reason, I'm about to purchase 3 extra personal training sessions. God help me figure out why? I know its for my own good.... BUT THE PAIN!!!! YIKES!!! I had to baby sit 3 kids the next day and honestly, I in the true sense of the word, PANICKED! I survived the agonizing hours by sheer luck! Nothing more than sheer luck... And of course with the sacrifice of my mom's collection of Japanese figurines... Ah well, good riddance I think.. hehe...

So far a pretty spectacular day in all its flaws and mishaps! Another one I would never trade for anything else in the world!

Love and Hugs....

Saturday, August 15, 2009

Humdrumming....


Wow... so much for keeping a promise... I took a LONG break from blogging... Let me first admit that it was a very conscious decision and I'm not going to blame time or circumstances for anything. In fact, there was many a times when I had literally sat down to blog but just couldn't. Life has been a little complicated, I will have to admit and for the very first time in a long while, I felt robbed of the ability to vent. I just felt like curling in bed and mourning my losses and gains (to a certain extent) or drowning myself with a new obsession. I chose the latter. I've been downloading all games imaginable and going through them painstakingly, one after the other. Confusion has set about brewing and stirring within me, bringing about it the usual, pain, tears, amazement (literally that I could feel the things I do), bafflement, and so many others (I know most of you would think that if a person could feel so many emotions all at one go they would stop functioning normally- guess what, you're right!)

Its been an erratic rollercoaster ride for my emotions. But hey, exciting isn't it? If you answered yes that I've gotta say.... YOU'RE FREAKING INSANE!!! Damn! I wish I could move on with life. Everytime I say I do, its not so much convincing the person I'm saying it to, its more an act of conviction for my own sanity. I need to get over this hurdle, I know first times are rather difficult but seriously! This is bloody pathetic! This is all your fault, divine being! If you had given us autonomy of our emotions. I know you did, but you placed that nagging emotion, that plaguing feeling behind as well. I don't know what the heck its called. I can't name it. Or rather I don't want to. Sigh...

There's a lot that I will say soon but as for a simple post, I believe this outta do it =)

Saturday, July 11, 2009

Darkness Prevails


Looking at the face that stares back in the mirror,
I feel the pain, the hurt, the horror,
Who is she?
Is that me?
Tears well up in those foreign eyes,
A life filled with lies?
But to whom does this heart lie
To whom does it cry,
A world filled with strangers,
Turmoil, tears and dangers,
They stare back, cold and hard,
Harder yet is their heart,

Venom reeks with their single gaze,
The kill this innocence with their hurtful graze,
Words that seem so trivial,
Are the most evil,

Where would this heart seek solace,
How would it escape this cursem,
Doomed for an eternity,
It can never be set free

Wednesday, July 08, 2009

You Are Not Alone


Immortalized. Forever. With Love.

You Are Not Alone- Michael Jackson

Another day has gone
I'm still all alone
How could this be
You're not here with me
You never said goodbye
Someone tell me why
Did you have to go
And leave my world so cold

Everyday I sit and ask myself
How did love slip away
Something whispers in my ear and says
That you are not alone
For I am here with you
Though you're far away
I am here to stay

But you are not alone
For I am here with you
Though we're far apart
You're always in my heart
But you are not alone

'Lone, 'lone
Why, 'lone

Just the other night
I thought I heard you cry
Asking me to come
And hold you in my arms
I can hear your prayers
Your burdens I will bear
But first I need your hand
Then forever can begin

Everyday I sit and ask myself
How did love slip away
Something whispers in my ear and says
That you are not alone
For I am here with you
Though you're far away
I am here to stay

For you are not alone
For I am here with you
Though we're far apart
You're always in my heart
For you are not alone

Whisper three words and I'll come runnin'
And girl you know that I'll be there
I'll be there

You are not alone
For I am here with you
Though you're far away
I am here to stay
For you are not alone
For I am here with you
Though we're far apart
You're always in my heart

For you are not alone
For I am here with you
Though you're far away
I am here to stay

For you are not alone
For I am here with you
Though we're far apart
You're always in my heart

For you are not alone...

Heal The World


I'm completely addicted to this song now.... Love you, MJ... May your soul find eternal peace and joy.

Heal The World- Michael Jackson

There's A Place In
Your Heart
And I Know That It Is Love
And This Place Could
Be Much
Brighter Than Tomorrow
And If You Really Try
You'll Find There's No Need
To Cry
In This Place You'll Feel
There's No Hurt Or Sorrow

There Are Ways
To Get There
If You Care Enough
For The Living
Make A Little Space
Make A Better Place...

Heal The World
Make It A Better Place
For You And For Me
And The Entire Human Race
There Are People Dying
If You Care Enough
For The Living
Make A Better Place
For You And For Me

If You Want To Know Why
There's A Love That
Cannot Lie
Love Is Strong
It Only Cares For
Joyful Giving
If We Try
We Shall See
In This Bliss
We Cannot Feel
Fear Or Dread
We Stop Existing And
Start Living

Then It Feels That Always
Love's Enough For
Us Growing
So Make A Better World
Make A Better World...

Heal The World
Make It A Better Place
For You And For Me
And The Entire Human Race
There Are People Dying
If You Care Enough
For The Living
Make A Better Place
For You And For Me

And The Dream We Were
Conceived In
Will Reveal A Joyful Face
And The World We
Once Believed In
Will Shine Again In Grace
Then Why Do We Keep
Strangling Life
Wound This Earth
Crucify Its Soul
Though It's Plain To See
This World Is Heavenly
Be God's Glow

We Could Fly So High
Let Our Spirits Never Die
In My Heart
I Feel You Are All
My Brothers
Create A World With
No Fear
Together We'll Cry
Happy Tears
See The Nations Turn
Their Swords
Into Plowshares

We Could Really Get There
If You Cared Enough
For The Living
Make A Little Space
To Make A Better Place...

Heal The World
Make It A Better Place
For You And For Me
And The Entire Human Race
There Are People Dying
If You Care Enough
For The Living
Make A Better Place
For You And For Me

Heal The World
Make It A Better Place
For You And For Me
And The Entire Human Race
There Are People Dying
If You Care Enough
For The Living
Make A Better Place
For You And For Me

Heal The World
Make It A Better Place
For You And For Me
And The Entire Human Race
There Are People Dying
If You Care Enough
For The Living
Make A Better Place
For You And For Me

There Are People Dying
If You Care Enough
For The Living
Make A Better Place
For You And For Me

There Are People Dying
If You Care Enough
For The Living
Make A Better Place
For You And For Me

You And For Me
You And For Me
You And For Me
You And For Me
You And For Me
You And For Me
You And For Me
You And For Me
You And For Me
You And For Me
You And For Me

A Small Thank You


I just finished watching Michael Jackson's memorial service and it was beautiful. This is my blog and one promise I made to myself was that no matter what the consequence, when I choose to write something, I will do so honestly and completely. I will not lie even if it means putting out some of my most private thoughts or this blog won't at all be representative of me. It would be fake or diminished in a large sense. A confession. A small one but a confession none the less. I never really saw myself as a Michael Jackson fan till the last week or so. Its always easier to turn a blind eye at what you have and you never really feel the presence it has on our life till we find it slipping away from us. I found this out the hard way. At first when I heard the news that Michael Jackson had passed away I was simply shocked and that was it. It was just shock, a suprise. I didn't feel overwhelmed or grieved or anything. Just suprised that he had suffered a cardiac arrest so close to the date of his said "greatest performance of his career".

Over the weeks, all the channels I've been watching have been playing Michael Jackson's videos and songs and I found myself wondering. How is it that I managed to let these tunes slip by through time? It was extremely contagious! And soon I was hooked. I began watching his music videos like Thriller and Ghosts. Ghosts I remember watching when I was 10 or so.... And I LOVED IT!! Its one of those things that you never quite forget. But Thriller I never really did watch as I was introduced to it at the age of 5 or 6 and the only part I watched was when he began to morph into a werewolf. That was more than I could take really, ran into the room terrified and refused to watch it. And it completely slipped out of my mind from then on.

I grew up listening to the Man in The Mirror, Black Or White, You Rock My World, Earth Song, Heal The World and my all time favourite You Are Not Alone. My dad who loved listening to Michael's songs introduced me to Beat It, Dirty Diana, Billie Jean, Smooth Criminal and Bad. But with time all these songs and Michael Jackson himself faded into the era of boybands and punk rock (which I'm not very proud of-but hey, I was a teen.)

Watching his tributes and life stories was suprisingly heart wrenching- I found myself strangely attached to this young little boy who grew in the public eye who seemed so humble and shy yet seemed to glow with an undefined light and he brimmed with talent. He was called a genius. He was a prodigy. Yet, with every great success story comes a sad accompaniment. The accusations and turmoil that it caused was insurmountable. But yet, anger and hate never seemed to fill this person. I kept thinking to myself, was doesn't he fight back? Why doesn't he use his anger or his hatred to fuel an attempt to salvage his dignity? I never really believed the allegations against him then but I do have to admit that these questions were always on my mind. I got the answer to my questions in this last week. Michaeld never retaliated with anger of hatred because he had none. His heart was pure and untainted by anger, hatred or any venomous notions.

He helped light so many dreams and gave so much in return for all that he had received. He lived a life of love, hope and dreams. He loved children with an innocence that most people twisted into a salacious deed. It was despicable. But he never let go. He kept dreaming. I can go on saying so much but the essence of what I had wanted to say has been said. Goodbye Michael, we'll live through your legacy and your life has been a blessing to us all.