I just finished watching Michael Jackson's memorial service and it was beautiful. This is my blog and one promise I made to myself was that no matter what the consequence, when I choose to write something, I will do so honestly and completely. I will not lie even if it means putting out some of my most private thoughts or this blog won't at all be representative of me. It would be fake or diminished in a large sense. A confession. A small one but a confession none the less. I never really saw myself as a Michael Jackson fan till the last week or so. Its always easier to turn a blind eye at what you have and you never really feel the presence it has on our life till we find it slipping away from us. I found this out the hard way. At first when I heard the news that Michael Jackson had passed away I was simply shocked and that was it. It was just shock, a suprise. I didn't feel overwhelmed or grieved or anything. Just suprised that he had suffered a cardiac arrest so close to the date of his said "greatest performance of his career".
Over the weeks, all the channels I've been watching have been playing Michael Jackson's videos and songs and I found myself wondering. How is it that I managed to let these tunes slip by through time? It was extremely contagious! And soon I was hooked. I began watching his music videos like Thriller and Ghosts. Ghosts I remember watching when I was 10 or so.... And I LOVED IT!! Its one of those things that you never quite forget. But Thriller I never really did watch as I was introduced to it at the age of 5 or 6 and the only part I watched was when he began to morph into a werewolf. That was more than I could take really, ran into the room terrified and refused to watch it. And it completely slipped out of my mind from then on.
I grew up listening to the Man in The Mirror, Black Or White, You Rock My World, Earth Song, Heal The World and my all time favourite You Are Not Alone. My dad who loved listening to Michael's songs introduced me to Beat It, Dirty Diana, Billie Jean, Smooth Criminal and Bad. But with time all these songs and Michael Jackson himself faded into the era of boybands and punk rock (which I'm not very proud of-but hey, I was a teen.)
Watching his tributes and life stories was suprisingly heart wrenching- I found myself strangely attached to this young little boy who grew in the public eye who seemed so humble and shy yet seemed to glow with an undefined light and he brimmed with talent. He was called a genius. He was a prodigy. Yet, with every great success story comes a sad accompaniment. The accusations and turmoil that it caused was insurmountable. But yet, anger and hate never seemed to fill this person. I kept thinking to myself, was doesn't he fight back? Why doesn't he use his anger or his hatred to fuel an attempt to salvage his dignity? I never really believed the allegations against him then but I do have to admit that these questions were always on my mind. I got the answer to my questions in this last week. Michaeld never retaliated with anger of hatred because he had none. His heart was pure and untainted by anger, hatred or any venomous notions.
He helped light so many dreams and gave so much in return for all that he had received. He lived a life of love, hope and dreams. He loved children with an innocence that most people twisted into a salacious deed. It was despicable. But he never let go. He kept dreaming. I can go on saying so much but the essence of what I had wanted to say has been said. Goodbye Michael, we'll live through your legacy and your life has been a blessing to us all.
