Its been a rather quiet one month.... The days seem to be creeping by as I exist simply in oblivion... Sliding through the background day after day, life seems to be nothing more than a routine and my moods seem to be monotonous and glum. Not exactly the wonderful experience I was hoping for truthfully... But I do suppose things could be a lot worse... This low, mellow existence had been painting a rather grey cloud over my head for weeks now as I sunk into a stupor that I was secretly desperate to relieve myself of. I longed for a nod in my direction... A familiar face... A kind word... A smile...
Its such a drastic change from sharing hugs every morning with sweet children to yearning for a familiar face... But like I said, things could be a lot worse... Or could it? Different and well, uncharacteristic as it may seem of me, I don't really loathe this unobserved way of life.. I've had time for myself like never before... I've had silence accompany my thoughts in a very long time and I've actually appreciated it... Yet, everyone needs an uplifting moment and mine came through the most unusual of manners.... Never being able to stop and smell the flowers before, I've been able to actually do so... I've caught so many beautiful moments just gazing... I'm not participating in it, but I'm part of it... I've seen a mother hug her child with a look in her eyes that could speak of nothing but undying love... I've seen an old married couple cross the streets together hand in hand with smiles on their faces... I've seen children rushing off to school laughing, with the care that they will be late but with the comfort that they have each other to share that worry with... I've seen a man desperately running to catch the bus in hopes that he might just make it in time to see his son's football game... I've seen two young lovers so caught up in each other that they missed their stop as they were whispering sweet nothings to each other... I've seen the world... Or maybe I haven't. For there is so much more out there that I cannot even imagine what it may be like. I know nothing of these people yet I felt a little bit of what they did. I felt that mother's love as she looked at her child, the love between the old married couple who would grow old in each other's arms, the joy of the children that they had a friend to keep them company with their worries, the anxiety of the father who very much wanted to swell with pride as he watched his little boy play and the bond between the young couple who had no worry in the world as long as they held each others embrace.
In the time that I've missed my mom, my dad, my family and friends, its these little delicate moments that I've caught that keep me company... The familiarity of belonging is something my heart still yearns for but the fact that I can take comfort in knowing that I will one day return to such tenderness allows me the will to wake up the next morning with the resolution to see it through. And as an added consolation, if I do, I may just witness another beautiful moment....
hehe... Hugs~~ hehe... You will be fine!! We are all here!! Just not physically. :) Every moment, something beautiful happens. Just depends if we see it in the way it is to be or not. There are just there waiting to be seen. Take care!! Hugs!!
thankz u derek!!! True, its amazing how much warmth the world holds and if we just took a second to look we find the most beautiful moments life has to offer, every single day! u take care too! HUGZ!!