A Garden Of Nothingness
Dee
An empty garden,
A heavy burden,
Where will it end,
This heart where shall I send,
Tears speak of pain,
And yet they spill in vain,
A fist clenched so tight it draws blood,
As the tears come pouring down like an endless flood,
The walls built from within come crashing down,
As a she comes crumbling to the ground....

Looking at the sky,
She finds a will to try,
To live,
To give,
A heart full of love,
Yearning soar free like a dove,
But lost in her own shadows she weeps,
Her yearns, her desires, with her.... sleeps,

Looking over her shoulder she sees nothing,
Having lost her heart, she's lost everything,
The songs of the birds taunt her,
The beautiful roses glint at her with a sneer,
The beauty robbed,
Broken, she sobs....

Where does she find a will,
Where will she find a reason to care still,
Where does she look for a hand to hold on to,
What will she do,
Burnt, broken and torn,
A soul never more forlorn,
Looks to the heavens one last time,
As she hears the bells chime....




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The Perfect Guy
Dee
The Perfect Guy....

Sounds ominous when you say it that way doesn't it? Perfection. Such a detrimentally strong word. Who is perfect? How do you measure perfection. On a personal basis, imperfection is perfection... I know its rather shallow of me to have a list but I never claimed to be perfect. And I never will... We all have our preferences when it comes to guys (or girls... or both.. whichever tickles your fancy I guess...) but at the heart of it, we all share the same essence that we want in our partner... he/she has to be good, kind, honest...bla bla bla... So I'm just gonna skip all that and get down to the essence of what makes my ideal guy distinctively well, mine =)

THE LIST

1) Ever heard of the song shy guy? Yeap. I want a guy who's shy but not all that introverted that he can't get a word out... There's something sensitive about shy guys... (and they won't mind me being the chatterbox either)

2) I want a guy who would hold my hand when I'm feeling down or upset...

3) I want a guy who can hold me tight when I feel my world falling apart...

4) I'd love a guy who would greet me in the morning with a smile and a cup of coffee (once in a while! Hey, its not like asking for a buffet breakfast spread! Just coffee!)

5) I would love a guy who can walk into the bookstore with me and help me pick out a book that we can both read

6) I would love to be with a guy who I can share my whole world with

7) He has to be able to make me smile from a million miles away (How? He would be making me think of him constantly...)

8) Someone I can trust myself with (And this isn't an easy feat mind you)

9) Someone I can take long walks with and never run out of things to say to...

10) A person I can look at and see the world

11) A person who'd let me take them in my arms and share all my love with

12) A person who'd indulge me with that one ice cream even when I'm sick in bed because he can't stand my whining

13) A person who'd get so mad at me for something and yet embrace me when I mutter an apology

14) A person who'd share their life and world with me without veils or shadows

15) A person who'd make me proud to be with them... Who'd inspire me to be a better person for them

16) A person who'd place their friends, family and career ahead of me... A person who'd put me behind now knows their priorities in life and I have nothing but respect for them (him, whichever)

17) This person can be a million miles away and yet be the only one on my mind

18) A person who'd share his worries and pain with me...

19) A person who'd look me in the eyes and tell me that I'm not perfect but still find it in him to love me

20) A person who'd love me for the person I am...

21) A person who'd let me love them for the person they are

22) A person who'd know I'm not alright even when I claim to be

23) He can feel my pain even when I don't show it...

24) A guy who'd tell me he loves me if he does....

25) A guy who'd take my hand and see the world with me.....

Demanding? Perhaps... But I don't think I'm looking for much am I? I've been thinking about this pretty thoroughly and the question that I once had perhaps has been answered... I remember the conundrum I had about if I should simply settle for someone or hold out until I am truly in love... I'll hold out. I love deeply and unconditionally. And if a person doesn't come along that I feel I can share that affection with then I would much rather share it with the world through other means... I can't imagine being with someone I couldn't love inside and out... I've always dreamt about falling madly in love with someone who could steal me away from reality to a fantasy that I wish I'd never have to leave but life has its nasty little surprises... But in what circumstance should I sacrifice my dream? Why should I give up hoping that one day my dream may come true? And so what if it doesn't? I can love for the both of us (the nonexistent, fiction of my imagination) I have it in me to live a life alone but filled with love nonetheless....
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Tender Moments
Dee
Its been a rather quiet one month.... The days seem to be creeping by as I exist simply in oblivion... Sliding through the background day after day, life seems to be nothing more than a routine and my moods seem to be monotonous and glum. Not exactly the wonderful experience I was hoping for truthfully... But I do suppose things could be a lot worse... This low, mellow existence had been painting a rather grey cloud over my head for weeks now as I sunk into a stupor that I was secretly desperate to relieve myself of. I longed for a nod in my direction... A familiar face... A kind word... A smile...

Its such a drastic change from sharing hugs every morning with sweet children to yearning for a familiar face... But like I said, things could be a lot worse... Or could it? Different and well, uncharacteristic as it may seem of me, I don't really loathe this unobserved way of life.. I've had time for myself like never before... I've had silence accompany my thoughts in a very long time and I've actually appreciated it... Yet, everyone needs an uplifting moment and mine came through the most unusual of manners.... Never being able to stop and smell the flowers before, I've been able to actually do so... I've caught so many beautiful moments just gazing... I'm not participating in it, but I'm part of it... I've seen a mother hug her child with a look in her eyes that could speak of nothing but undying love... I've seen an old married couple cross the streets together hand in hand with smiles on their faces... I've seen children rushing off to school laughing, with the care that they will be late but with the comfort that they have each other to share that worry with... I've seen a man desperately running to catch the bus in hopes that he might just make it in time to see his son's football game... I've seen two young lovers so caught up in each other that they missed their stop as they were whispering sweet nothings to each other... I've seen the world... Or maybe I haven't. For there is so much more out there that I cannot even imagine what it may be like. I know nothing of these people yet I felt a little bit of what they did. I felt that mother's love as she looked at her child, the love between the old married couple who would grow old in each other's arms, the joy of the children that they had a friend to keep them company with their worries, the anxiety of the father who very much wanted to swell with pride as he watched his little boy play and the bond between the young couple who had no worry in the world as long as they held each others embrace.

In the time that I've missed my mom, my dad, my family and friends, its these little delicate moments that I've caught that keep me company... The familiarity of belonging is something my heart still yearns for but the fact that I can take comfort in knowing that I will one day return to such tenderness allows me the will to wake up the next morning with the resolution to see it through. And as an added consolation, if I do, I may just witness another beautiful moment....
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Please Forgive Me
Dee
I haven't thought of music in a long time but browsing through all the videos on youtube has presented me with some incredible gems.... I haven't felt so touched by a song in so long... But this one truly took my breath away... It truly deserves the word beautiful as a description... I can keep gushing about it to you or simply just allow you to listen to it...

Amanda Kaletsky- Please Forgive Me

P.S To any kind soul, I have been desperately trying to search for this song on an mp3 format but haven't been very successful at it. If any of you manage to grab hold of it, PLEASE do send it to me! I will be eternally grateful!


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The End at Forever
Dee
I won't apologize,
I won't wait for you to realize,
That I'll love you forever,
And ever....

I won't hold a grudge,
But I won't budge,
I will love you forever,
And ever....

Don't tell me to move on,
Don't bother telling me you're gone,
I will love you forever,
And ever....

Don't tell me you're sorry,
Don't tell me not to worry,
I will love you forever,
And ever....

I won't forgive you,
I won't understand what you had to do,
I will love you forever,
And ever....

I won't cry myself to sleep at nights,
I won't let my hopes reach new heights,
I will love you forever,
And ever....

I won't live in your memory,
I don't need you to tell I'm free,
I will love you forever,
And ever....

And yet I wonder,
Will you see or never,
All that is lost and gained,
All that cherished and stained,
For an eternity speaks of life,
A life filled with joy or strife?

I will love you forever,
And ever,
And die shall I never....

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Classics of the Heart
Dee

























Cary Elwes is the CUTEST!!! (Forget about how he looks now though... )

How can anyone look at him and NOT think GORGEOUS?! Marcus Gilbert is the personification of DREAMY here!

I haven't really put up many songs recently... Well, I haven't really put up much over the last couple of months but my new discovered passion has been looking into old classic romantic movies.... Truthfully, I'm not one who likes romance inspired movies... Too sappy and nonsensical if you ask me. Movies have always been about the thrill and keeping you on the edge. Hence, my avid obsession with thriller and horror flicks. But in the past weeks, I've stumbled upon some truly understated gems in the romance genre. I can't really explain it but somehow the subtlety of the emotions and actions speak volumes than the general heavy duty makeout sessions that romance movies these days seem to indulge in (apart from the fact that the mellow English gentlemen of those times are ABSOLUTELY dreamy!)

I never pictured myself as a romantic. Never. In fact, I think I'm one of the least romantic people in the world. But watching these movies was a little bit of an awakening for me in some ways. These movies hold so much intensity in the slightest of movements. The way a gaze is held, the way the brush of a loved one's fingers across the other's skin, the way an embrace truly means something. These gentlest of actions hold the deepest of emotions. Being a little bit uncomfortable with displays of affections (especially the explicitly graphic ones) its so easy to understand and relate to these stories with the intricacy thats woven within the plot. These pre and early 20th century movies (in my opinion) truly do hold the essence of love. Its not how they display it but how they "speak" it with their actions. The way their eyes hold an everlasting story of love and the way a kiss could mean a pledge of eternity. I know, so these movies aren't the most practical in nature but fact of the matter is, there's something novel about them in this time and age. They bring light to such innocence and the true depth of what love is. Beautiful is the only word that I can find close to a description.

Some of the movies that I have spent hours watching have been....

1) A Hazard Of Hearts
2) Lady Jane Grey
3) A Room With A View
4) A Ghost in Monte Carlo
5) Sense and Sensibility
6) Tristan and Isolde

To name a few. Very beautiful movies... My favourites are A Hazard of Hearts (Marcus Gilbert is GORGEOUS!) and Lady Jane Grey (Cary Elwes- CUTE! And I don't even like blondes!)
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Sunday... What Can I Say?
Dee
Its a beautiful Sunday... The sun's shining brightly outside my room.... The cool breeze whipping through the window, freezing my already solid (from frostbite not workouts- but hey, somethings better than nothing :p) butt. My ice cold lemon tea now tastes like sewage water (not that I'd know! I swear!) Yup peachy day indeed! Okay okay, so maybe I should stop being so bi***y (its only censored as I don't want a certain someone making a certain call at some insane hour because of me using profanity- yup, believe me, she'd do that! AND she's not my mom.... God strike me with a bolt of lightning already?) Its a pretty decent day I must say.... It could be a lot worse... I could have to do....okay, so I can't think of a dreadful thing at the moment... But I did think of something to do with all this free time... I decided to surf the net! And I mean just literally read things off at random... And as random as information comes, these were the "randomest" bits that I found... Pretty intriguing too...

Useless Information That Would Kill My Brain Cells Faster Than You Could Yell Stupid!

1) Starfishes don't have brains....- big deal! I know some humans that are like that too!

2) Donkeys kill more people annually than plane crashes do...- beware the DONKEY!!!

3) A pig's orgasm lasts for 30 minutes...- damn! i can think of a few people (MEN) who've already started pledging their lives to being reincarnated as pigs. How the hell did they find this out?!

4) Banging your head on the wall burns 150 calories an hour... order now, and not only do you get the head banging manual with a 20% off but we guarantee it'll shave 10 years off your lifespan or your money back guaranteed!

5) Some lions mate over 50 times a day....- but do they orgasm as long though... the pig still walks away with the better deal! :P

6) The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue.... -god must have known what he was doing! (point to note- this is subject to a multiple number of controversies- but hell, if its even being CONSIDERED- that still suprises me!)

7) Right handed people live on average, 9 years longer than left handed people do... -what if someone's ambidextrous... is the difference split?

8) The ant can lift up to 50 times its own weight, pull up to 30 times its own weight and always falls on its right side when intoxicated...- intoxicated with WHAT?! did my freaking taxes (not that I pay any) fund this research?!

9) Polar bears are left handed...- when did they start writing?!

10) The male praying mantis cannot copulate while its head is attached to its body. The female initiates sex by ripping the male's head off....- This takes BDSM to a whole new level!

Thats it folks! Well, I'll leave with another bit... Its impossible for you to lick ur elbow... prove me wrong? ;)
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Misses
Dee
Well, today was my first day at Curtin... To sum it all up, ever held a map, stared at a directory and yet felt lost? Yep! Thats me! Somehow the age old saying of women and directions seem to explain my genetic makeup perfectly... But on a different note, for some peculiar reason so does the saying men and asking for directions... Its not pride! Its some inexplicable sense that though NOTHING makes sense on the paper (the map) it somehow will in life (yeah, it will... only it will cost you 15 minutes of your tutorial) Sigh... I used to complain about UM (don't bother that I didn't actually study there :P) but Curtin is a whole different ball game! And its also pretty daunting when everyone you look at seems to know their way around EXCEPT YOU! (This is what happens when you miss orientation!)

Okay, BS aside... Today, I truly felt like a duck out of water... I met a nice girl who was kind enough to give me pointers and to add to the fact that I'm meeting her tomorrow to shop for books... But I still feel a little left out... Seeing that I'm jumping into a group of people who are going into their third year together, I guess it is a little normal to feel singled out a bit... But the whole thing truly hit me when I realized that I missed cozying up to my friends in class... For the first time in a VERY LONG time I actually went to class with the intent of studying and successfully managing to do so (more than often intending to study doesn't result in ACTUAL studying...at least in my case) I miss the times when I would stroll into class a couple of minutes late to find it reserved by the nut jobs I love as friends... I miss the notes we'd write to each other instead of actually speaking in case Guling goes "Sssshh!" I miss turning around and teasing Kaleena of her brilliance and pretending to be (okay so I'm not reeeeaaaally pretending- she is pretty scary!) terrified of Joanne... I miss yapping about something to Jill with Adie either snoozing on my shoulder and finding ways of poking me in obscene areas. I miss driving all of them nuts with asking Adie's magic 8 ball ridiculously stupid questions... I miss walking down to HP to buy drinks during break and sneaking back in a whole half hour later... I miss getting cranky when I haven't had my morning coffee and having one of them miraculously show up with coffee.... I miss being "educated" by Adie and Jill and teased about how ignorant I am when it comes to certain issues...

I guess in essence, class today reminded me a lot about the precious moments that I had so casually taken for granted. Its shown me that time can take away your teeny moments of priceless joy so every chance you get, hold it tight and close to you... I know that if I had a chance to turn back time, I would go back to those moments and hold on to it... In a way I still am. I'm holding onto those priceless moments in my mind and heart. I remember and cherish every bit of it. But most of all, more meaningful then the time spent together is the people I've spent those times with. My friends have been remarkable pillars of support and leaving them gives me no joy but I haven't left them empty handed. I've left my heart, my love, my thoughts and my wishes behind. They have with them the best of me. I have with me their love. And with this love, I can see any lonely day or forsaken night through.
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Its MY BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!! oh n happy 2010'
Dee

This is Adie' s present to me!!!

I LOVE IT! LOLZ!

HUGZ ADIE!! MUAKZZ!












Yeah so I'm terrible with keeping promises! :P HELLO 2010! (a greeting coming in on the 1st of March! says a lot! :P) IT'S MY BIRTHDAY! IT'S MY BIRTHDAY!

Okay, I'm not gonna ramble on about all the past events that have taken place cause, well, we all know that I can go on and on and on and on and on and on..... AND ON forever! :P So lets live in the now and let the past stay in the past! (Besides, it wasn't all that eventful except for the fact that I'm now in Perth! Weeeeee!)

Okay so my birthday wishlist (don't worry people~ i'll make it affordable! :P)

10) I wish I had a car! MY CAR! I miss that old piece of failing junk! Sigh.... I shall never again call it future scrap metal again (okay my rich buddies- go get ur daddy's checkbook! heee)

9) I need a new cooling pad since my dad hijacked the old (slightly dysfunctional one! why pa?? WHY?) now my lap acts as the heat absorbent! and damn this thing is HOT!

8) I wish I had a story book... CAN U BELIEVE I PACKED EVERY DAMN THING BUT A FREAKING BOOK TO READ?! and I know what my dad would say~ but I'll kill myself if I had to read a text book as a LEISURELY activity! Get it pa?! LEISURELY! its supposed to be fun and not feel like I've gotten my head caught in a bear trap!

7)I wish Perth would get cooler... I'm Indian but if this damned climate keeps up, I may very well move to Nigeria and fit right in!

6) I wish I had.... hmm.... I know this is gonna sound crazy but I'm craving for a Mango Mania at the moment! I have no idea why, maybe the heat... but damn... Imagine, soft, sticky, gooey sweet mangoes on a bed soft, creamy, smooth, fluffy white frozen yogurt....i'm driving myself up a wall! Snap out of it! *slaps face!

5)Speaking of mango mania, I WANT CHILLI PADI!! WHAT THE EFFING HELL IS WRONG WITH THIS COUNTRY?! _^#*$^@*! How can anyone LIVE without chilli padi?! I HATE THIS!!! DAMN IT!!!! (okay deep breaths, deep breaths... *A moment after I've broken something I shall commence with number 4)

4) Contrary to popular belief, I don't need anger management classes..... (though road rage may be a disputable issue) But I would love a nice foot rub... my feet ache...sigh... nothing a nice pedicure wouldn't fix! GRIN!

3) A nice hot cup of Nescafe- the MALAYSIAN one! call me weird but the one in Aussie tastes funny

2) A ticket back home coz I miss my family, friends, home, car, college, mamak, MidValley, Pyramid, Ali Maju, mihun goreng, chilli padi....etc.... *sniff

1) I want a hug! Its my birthday and I want to hug my mom and dad! I miss my family!! I want to hug Adie too!!! I miss u adie! I know u'll be reading this! and derek! and jill and gling!!! I wanna hug ALL OF U!! *tears well up but dont fall coz I'm not gonna cry on my birthday!!!



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Monday, March 29, 2010

A Garden Of Nothingness

Monday, March 29, 2010 Posted by Dee
An empty garden,
A heavy burden,
Where will it end,
This heart where shall I send,
Tears speak of pain,
And yet they spill in vain,
A fist clenched so tight it draws blood,
As the tears come pouring down like an endless flood,
The walls built from within come crashing down,
As a she comes crumbling to the ground....

Looking at the sky,
She finds a will to try,
To live,
To give,
A heart full of love,
Yearning soar free like a dove,
But lost in her own shadows she weeps,
Her yearns, her desires, with her.... sleeps,

Looking over her shoulder she sees nothing,
Having lost her heart, she's lost everything,
The songs of the birds taunt her,
The beautiful roses glint at her with a sneer,
The beauty robbed,
Broken, she sobs....

Where does she find a will,
Where will she find a reason to care still,
Where does she look for a hand to hold on to,
What will she do,
Burnt, broken and torn,
A soul never more forlorn,
Looks to the heavens one last time,
As she hears the bells chime....




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Saturday, March 27, 2010

The Perfect Guy

Saturday, March 27, 2010 Posted by Dee
The Perfect Guy....

Sounds ominous when you say it that way doesn't it? Perfection. Such a detrimentally strong word. Who is perfect? How do you measure perfection. On a personal basis, imperfection is perfection... I know its rather shallow of me to have a list but I never claimed to be perfect. And I never will... We all have our preferences when it comes to guys (or girls... or both.. whichever tickles your fancy I guess...) but at the heart of it, we all share the same essence that we want in our partner... he/she has to be good, kind, honest...bla bla bla... So I'm just gonna skip all that and get down to the essence of what makes my ideal guy distinctively well, mine =)

THE LIST

1) Ever heard of the song shy guy? Yeap. I want a guy who's shy but not all that introverted that he can't get a word out... There's something sensitive about shy guys... (and they won't mind me being the chatterbox either)

2) I want a guy who would hold my hand when I'm feeling down or upset...

3) I want a guy who can hold me tight when I feel my world falling apart...

4) I'd love a guy who would greet me in the morning with a smile and a cup of coffee (once in a while! Hey, its not like asking for a buffet breakfast spread! Just coffee!)

5) I would love a guy who can walk into the bookstore with me and help me pick out a book that we can both read

6) I would love to be with a guy who I can share my whole world with

7) He has to be able to make me smile from a million miles away (How? He would be making me think of him constantly...)

8) Someone I can trust myself with (And this isn't an easy feat mind you)

9) Someone I can take long walks with and never run out of things to say to...

10) A person I can look at and see the world

11) A person who'd let me take them in my arms and share all my love with

12) A person who'd indulge me with that one ice cream even when I'm sick in bed because he can't stand my whining

13) A person who'd get so mad at me for something and yet embrace me when I mutter an apology

14) A person who'd share their life and world with me without veils or shadows

15) A person who'd make me proud to be with them... Who'd inspire me to be a better person for them

16) A person who'd place their friends, family and career ahead of me... A person who'd put me behind now knows their priorities in life and I have nothing but respect for them (him, whichever)

17) This person can be a million miles away and yet be the only one on my mind

18) A person who'd share his worries and pain with me...

19) A person who'd look me in the eyes and tell me that I'm not perfect but still find it in him to love me

20) A person who'd love me for the person I am...

21) A person who'd let me love them for the person they are

22) A person who'd know I'm not alright even when I claim to be

23) He can feel my pain even when I don't show it...

24) A guy who'd tell me he loves me if he does....

25) A guy who'd take my hand and see the world with me.....

Demanding? Perhaps... But I don't think I'm looking for much am I? I've been thinking about this pretty thoroughly and the question that I once had perhaps has been answered... I remember the conundrum I had about if I should simply settle for someone or hold out until I am truly in love... I'll hold out. I love deeply and unconditionally. And if a person doesn't come along that I feel I can share that affection with then I would much rather share it with the world through other means... I can't imagine being with someone I couldn't love inside and out... I've always dreamt about falling madly in love with someone who could steal me away from reality to a fantasy that I wish I'd never have to leave but life has its nasty little surprises... But in what circumstance should I sacrifice my dream? Why should I give up hoping that one day my dream may come true? And so what if it doesn't? I can love for the both of us (the nonexistent, fiction of my imagination) I have it in me to live a life alone but filled with love nonetheless....
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Tender Moments

Saturday, March 27, 2010 Posted by Dee
Its been a rather quiet one month.... The days seem to be creeping by as I exist simply in oblivion... Sliding through the background day after day, life seems to be nothing more than a routine and my moods seem to be monotonous and glum. Not exactly the wonderful experience I was hoping for truthfully... But I do suppose things could be a lot worse... This low, mellow existence had been painting a rather grey cloud over my head for weeks now as I sunk into a stupor that I was secretly desperate to relieve myself of. I longed for a nod in my direction... A familiar face... A kind word... A smile...

Its such a drastic change from sharing hugs every morning with sweet children to yearning for a familiar face... But like I said, things could be a lot worse... Or could it? Different and well, uncharacteristic as it may seem of me, I don't really loathe this unobserved way of life.. I've had time for myself like never before... I've had silence accompany my thoughts in a very long time and I've actually appreciated it... Yet, everyone needs an uplifting moment and mine came through the most unusual of manners.... Never being able to stop and smell the flowers before, I've been able to actually do so... I've caught so many beautiful moments just gazing... I'm not participating in it, but I'm part of it... I've seen a mother hug her child with a look in her eyes that could speak of nothing but undying love... I've seen an old married couple cross the streets together hand in hand with smiles on their faces... I've seen children rushing off to school laughing, with the care that they will be late but with the comfort that they have each other to share that worry with... I've seen a man desperately running to catch the bus in hopes that he might just make it in time to see his son's football game... I've seen two young lovers so caught up in each other that they missed their stop as they were whispering sweet nothings to each other... I've seen the world... Or maybe I haven't. For there is so much more out there that I cannot even imagine what it may be like. I know nothing of these people yet I felt a little bit of what they did. I felt that mother's love as she looked at her child, the love between the old married couple who would grow old in each other's arms, the joy of the children that they had a friend to keep them company with their worries, the anxiety of the father who very much wanted to swell with pride as he watched his little boy play and the bond between the young couple who had no worry in the world as long as they held each others embrace.

In the time that I've missed my mom, my dad, my family and friends, its these little delicate moments that I've caught that keep me company... The familiarity of belonging is something my heart still yearns for but the fact that I can take comfort in knowing that I will one day return to such tenderness allows me the will to wake up the next morning with the resolution to see it through. And as an added consolation, if I do, I may just witness another beautiful moment....
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Wednesday, March 17, 2010

Please Forgive Me

Wednesday, March 17, 2010 Posted by Dee
I haven't thought of music in a long time but browsing through all the videos on youtube has presented me with some incredible gems.... I haven't felt so touched by a song in so long... But this one truly took my breath away... It truly deserves the word beautiful as a description... I can keep gushing about it to you or simply just allow you to listen to it...

Amanda Kaletsky- Please Forgive Me

P.S To any kind soul, I have been desperately trying to search for this song on an mp3 format but haven't been very successful at it. If any of you manage to grab hold of it, PLEASE do send it to me! I will be eternally grateful!


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Monday, March 15, 2010

The End at Forever

Monday, March 15, 2010 Posted by Dee
I won't apologize,
I won't wait for you to realize,
That I'll love you forever,
And ever....

I won't hold a grudge,
But I won't budge,
I will love you forever,
And ever....

Don't tell me to move on,
Don't bother telling me you're gone,
I will love you forever,
And ever....

Don't tell me you're sorry,
Don't tell me not to worry,
I will love you forever,
And ever....

I won't forgive you,
I won't understand what you had to do,
I will love you forever,
And ever....

I won't cry myself to sleep at nights,
I won't let my hopes reach new heights,
I will love you forever,
And ever....

I won't live in your memory,
I don't need you to tell I'm free,
I will love you forever,
And ever....

And yet I wonder,
Will you see or never,
All that is lost and gained,
All that cherished and stained,
For an eternity speaks of life,
A life filled with joy or strife?

I will love you forever,
And ever,
And die shall I never....

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Classics of the Heart

Monday, March 15, 2010 Posted by Dee

























Cary Elwes is the CUTEST!!! (Forget about how he looks now though... )

How can anyone look at him and NOT think GORGEOUS?! Marcus Gilbert is the personification of DREAMY here!

I haven't really put up many songs recently... Well, I haven't really put up much over the last couple of months but my new discovered passion has been looking into old classic romantic movies.... Truthfully, I'm not one who likes romance inspired movies... Too sappy and nonsensical if you ask me. Movies have always been about the thrill and keeping you on the edge. Hence, my avid obsession with thriller and horror flicks. But in the past weeks, I've stumbled upon some truly understated gems in the romance genre. I can't really explain it but somehow the subtlety of the emotions and actions speak volumes than the general heavy duty makeout sessions that romance movies these days seem to indulge in (apart from the fact that the mellow English gentlemen of those times are ABSOLUTELY dreamy!)

I never pictured myself as a romantic. Never. In fact, I think I'm one of the least romantic people in the world. But watching these movies was a little bit of an awakening for me in some ways. These movies hold so much intensity in the slightest of movements. The way a gaze is held, the way the brush of a loved one's fingers across the other's skin, the way an embrace truly means something. These gentlest of actions hold the deepest of emotions. Being a little bit uncomfortable with displays of affections (especially the explicitly graphic ones) its so easy to understand and relate to these stories with the intricacy thats woven within the plot. These pre and early 20th century movies (in my opinion) truly do hold the essence of love. Its not how they display it but how they "speak" it with their actions. The way their eyes hold an everlasting story of love and the way a kiss could mean a pledge of eternity. I know, so these movies aren't the most practical in nature but fact of the matter is, there's something novel about them in this time and age. They bring light to such innocence and the true depth of what love is. Beautiful is the only word that I can find close to a description.

Some of the movies that I have spent hours watching have been....

1) A Hazard Of Hearts
2) Lady Jane Grey
3) A Room With A View
4) A Ghost in Monte Carlo
5) Sense and Sensibility
6) Tristan and Isolde

To name a few. Very beautiful movies... My favourites are A Hazard of Hearts (Marcus Gilbert is GORGEOUS!) and Lady Jane Grey (Cary Elwes- CUTE! And I don't even like blondes!)
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Sunday, March 07, 2010

Sunday... What Can I Say?

Sunday, March 07, 2010 Posted by Dee
Its a beautiful Sunday... The sun's shining brightly outside my room.... The cool breeze whipping through the window, freezing my already solid (from frostbite not workouts- but hey, somethings better than nothing :p) butt. My ice cold lemon tea now tastes like sewage water (not that I'd know! I swear!) Yup peachy day indeed! Okay okay, so maybe I should stop being so bi***y (its only censored as I don't want a certain someone making a certain call at some insane hour because of me using profanity- yup, believe me, she'd do that! AND she's not my mom.... God strike me with a bolt of lightning already?) Its a pretty decent day I must say.... It could be a lot worse... I could have to do....okay, so I can't think of a dreadful thing at the moment... But I did think of something to do with all this free time... I decided to surf the net! And I mean just literally read things off at random... And as random as information comes, these were the "randomest" bits that I found... Pretty intriguing too...

Useless Information That Would Kill My Brain Cells Faster Than You Could Yell Stupid!

1) Starfishes don't have brains....- big deal! I know some humans that are like that too!

2) Donkeys kill more people annually than plane crashes do...- beware the DONKEY!!!

3) A pig's orgasm lasts for 30 minutes...- damn! i can think of a few people (MEN) who've already started pledging their lives to being reincarnated as pigs. How the hell did they find this out?!

4) Banging your head on the wall burns 150 calories an hour... order now, and not only do you get the head banging manual with a 20% off but we guarantee it'll shave 10 years off your lifespan or your money back guaranteed!

5) Some lions mate over 50 times a day....- but do they orgasm as long though... the pig still walks away with the better deal! :P

6) The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue.... -god must have known what he was doing! (point to note- this is subject to a multiple number of controversies- but hell, if its even being CONSIDERED- that still suprises me!)

7) Right handed people live on average, 9 years longer than left handed people do... -what if someone's ambidextrous... is the difference split?

8) The ant can lift up to 50 times its own weight, pull up to 30 times its own weight and always falls on its right side when intoxicated...- intoxicated with WHAT?! did my freaking taxes (not that I pay any) fund this research?!

9) Polar bears are left handed...- when did they start writing?!

10) The male praying mantis cannot copulate while its head is attached to its body. The female initiates sex by ripping the male's head off....- This takes BDSM to a whole new level!

Thats it folks! Well, I'll leave with another bit... Its impossible for you to lick ur elbow... prove me wrong? ;)
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Wednesday, March 03, 2010

Misses

Wednesday, March 03, 2010 Posted by Dee
Well, today was my first day at Curtin... To sum it all up, ever held a map, stared at a directory and yet felt lost? Yep! Thats me! Somehow the age old saying of women and directions seem to explain my genetic makeup perfectly... But on a different note, for some peculiar reason so does the saying men and asking for directions... Its not pride! Its some inexplicable sense that though NOTHING makes sense on the paper (the map) it somehow will in life (yeah, it will... only it will cost you 15 minutes of your tutorial) Sigh... I used to complain about UM (don't bother that I didn't actually study there :P) but Curtin is a whole different ball game! And its also pretty daunting when everyone you look at seems to know their way around EXCEPT YOU! (This is what happens when you miss orientation!)

Okay, BS aside... Today, I truly felt like a duck out of water... I met a nice girl who was kind enough to give me pointers and to add to the fact that I'm meeting her tomorrow to shop for books... But I still feel a little left out... Seeing that I'm jumping into a group of people who are going into their third year together, I guess it is a little normal to feel singled out a bit... But the whole thing truly hit me when I realized that I missed cozying up to my friends in class... For the first time in a VERY LONG time I actually went to class with the intent of studying and successfully managing to do so (more than often intending to study doesn't result in ACTUAL studying...at least in my case) I miss the times when I would stroll into class a couple of minutes late to find it reserved by the nut jobs I love as friends... I miss the notes we'd write to each other instead of actually speaking in case Guling goes "Sssshh!" I miss turning around and teasing Kaleena of her brilliance and pretending to be (okay so I'm not reeeeaaaally pretending- she is pretty scary!) terrified of Joanne... I miss yapping about something to Jill with Adie either snoozing on my shoulder and finding ways of poking me in obscene areas. I miss driving all of them nuts with asking Adie's magic 8 ball ridiculously stupid questions... I miss walking down to HP to buy drinks during break and sneaking back in a whole half hour later... I miss getting cranky when I haven't had my morning coffee and having one of them miraculously show up with coffee.... I miss being "educated" by Adie and Jill and teased about how ignorant I am when it comes to certain issues...

I guess in essence, class today reminded me a lot about the precious moments that I had so casually taken for granted. Its shown me that time can take away your teeny moments of priceless joy so every chance you get, hold it tight and close to you... I know that if I had a chance to turn back time, I would go back to those moments and hold on to it... In a way I still am. I'm holding onto those priceless moments in my mind and heart. I remember and cherish every bit of it. But most of all, more meaningful then the time spent together is the people I've spent those times with. My friends have been remarkable pillars of support and leaving them gives me no joy but I haven't left them empty handed. I've left my heart, my love, my thoughts and my wishes behind. They have with them the best of me. I have with me their love. And with this love, I can see any lonely day or forsaken night through.
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Monday, March 01, 2010

Its MY BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!! oh n happy 2010'

Monday, March 01, 2010 Posted by Dee

This is Adie' s present to me!!!

I LOVE IT! LOLZ!

HUGZ ADIE!! MUAKZZ!












Yeah so I'm terrible with keeping promises! :P HELLO 2010! (a greeting coming in on the 1st of March! says a lot! :P) IT'S MY BIRTHDAY! IT'S MY BIRTHDAY!

Okay, I'm not gonna ramble on about all the past events that have taken place cause, well, we all know that I can go on and on and on and on and on and on..... AND ON forever! :P So lets live in the now and let the past stay in the past! (Besides, it wasn't all that eventful except for the fact that I'm now in Perth! Weeeeee!)

Okay so my birthday wishlist (don't worry people~ i'll make it affordable! :P)

10) I wish I had a car! MY CAR! I miss that old piece of failing junk! Sigh.... I shall never again call it future scrap metal again (okay my rich buddies- go get ur daddy's checkbook! heee)

9) I need a new cooling pad since my dad hijacked the old (slightly dysfunctional one! why pa?? WHY?) now my lap acts as the heat absorbent! and damn this thing is HOT!

8) I wish I had a story book... CAN U BELIEVE I PACKED EVERY DAMN THING BUT A FREAKING BOOK TO READ?! and I know what my dad would say~ but I'll kill myself if I had to read a text book as a LEISURELY activity! Get it pa?! LEISURELY! its supposed to be fun and not feel like I've gotten my head caught in a bear trap!

7)I wish Perth would get cooler... I'm Indian but if this damned climate keeps up, I may very well move to Nigeria and fit right in!

6) I wish I had.... hmm.... I know this is gonna sound crazy but I'm craving for a Mango Mania at the moment! I have no idea why, maybe the heat... but damn... Imagine, soft, sticky, gooey sweet mangoes on a bed soft, creamy, smooth, fluffy white frozen yogurt....i'm driving myself up a wall! Snap out of it! *slaps face!

5)Speaking of mango mania, I WANT CHILLI PADI!! WHAT THE EFFING HELL IS WRONG WITH THIS COUNTRY?! _^#*$^@*! How can anyone LIVE without chilli padi?! I HATE THIS!!! DAMN IT!!!! (okay deep breaths, deep breaths... *A moment after I've broken something I shall commence with number 4)

4) Contrary to popular belief, I don't need anger management classes..... (though road rage may be a disputable issue) But I would love a nice foot rub... my feet ache...sigh... nothing a nice pedicure wouldn't fix! GRIN!

3) A nice hot cup of Nescafe- the MALAYSIAN one! call me weird but the one in Aussie tastes funny

2) A ticket back home coz I miss my family, friends, home, car, college, mamak, MidValley, Pyramid, Ali Maju, mihun goreng, chilli padi....etc.... *sniff

1) I want a hug! Its my birthday and I want to hug my mom and dad! I miss my family!! I want to hug Adie too!!! I miss u adie! I know u'll be reading this! and derek! and jill and gling!!! I wanna hug ALL OF U!! *tears well up but dont fall coz I'm not gonna cry on my birthday!!!



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