It is that time of the year and everyone is making their own little trip down the memory lane. Bitter sweet memories wash over us like a tidal wave, overwhelming us with emotion and sentiments that remains priceless. As the year draws to an end, we find ourselves reminiscing about the past and wondering about the future. Moments that we wish we could rewind or undo seconds that we wish had never occurred and those tiny bits of memoirs that we wish that we could hold onto for the rest of our lives. All these make up the year that we had so restlessly anticipated exactly 365 days ago. Time flies when you’re having fun and as the saying goes but life is never a box of chocolates nor is it a stroll in the park. It’s almost always filled with fragments of pain infused within it and of course there is no denying the happiness and joys that lace our existence.
I have had a beautiful year. Regardless of the pain and misery that had come to embellish it, I have truly learnt a lot from this year in particular. I have grown and I have acquired not intelligence but rather I have been bestowed with wisdom. As they say, there are things that only life can teach which cannot be derived from a mere text book, and I have had the incredible opportunity of realizing this saying hands on. There are so many things that I have learnt that I do not know and may never know but there is one thing that I lucubrated, that is no matter what, perseverance comes easy when you bear in mind the loved ones that we live for. Many a times, I have coiled at the distaste for life itself, and truthfully I shudder to think of the consequence had I not dutifully pondered about my filial responsibilities. There were times that I truly wished I could simply resign this fate and take the easy way out of escaping this emotional whirlwind that was tearing me apart from the inside
My life fraught with complications placed me in a constant state of imbroglio. Mind at wreaking havoc, heart constantly enduring upheavals and despairs added on with a conscience and soul that was as unsettled as an ocean caught in a storm. I underwent many emotional challenging moments that virtually rendered me helpless and for the first time, it dawned on me that the protected and sheltered life that I had been blessed with had become the very reason for my social misjudgments and errs. Unable to interpret situations and actions, I took the most naive approach at life and the world only to receive the cruelest shocks that shook the very foundations of my beliefs.
Needless to say, I was left in a complete muddle over things and being the introvert that I am when it came to matters of the mind and heart, I was more than resolute to dictate my own moves and restrict my burdens to myself. Not the wisest of moves, you may think, but I am brought up in a family where the word conservative is defined quite differently. On the outlook, we may be as modern as any other forward thinking family, but truly, we are as traditional and rooted to our moral upbringing and culture as any other family. Not that this is a bad thing, for I am proud and glad that my family has blessed me with such knowledge about my background and culture for these are aspects that really do color and individual and give them a certain distinctive virtue.
But there was one drawback that came with this virtuous trait, the lack of liberality. My parents were sticklers for the “R & R”. In my case it isn’t a joyous case Rest and Relaxation but rather quite the contrary of Rules and Regulations. I don’t blame them as they now live in a world that the most despicable acts are committed right next door! (Figure of speech mind you, my neighbors are neither criminals nor perverts) But then again, how is a girl supposed to find her way around life if she’s molly coddled at every turn? I think my predicament is now slightly clearer to those who thought my life was a bed of roses. Though I do have my complaints and my frets, (like all other teenagers do), I learnt through experience that they want the best for us and all that they bear in mind is our safety and happiness. Sometimes, they may go about it the wrong way, as the environment that they were brought up in was a lot more conservative than ours, making them rather rigid about their life, but all this aside, their intentions are as noble as ever. And for this sole reason, I love them beyond the depths of my soul.
Apart from the invaluable precedents that have equipped me so efficiently with such blossoming love and gratitude towards my parents I had my fair share of pain to deal with. Yes, that’s right. Adolescence strikes again and this time I was really shattered by the state of affairs that were pelting on me like a hailstorm. I found myself in a world that was parallel to mine yet completely alien to all that I knew and thought I knew. No knowledge of physics or general knowledge was applicable in the presence of teen angst. I mean, ask Albert Einstein to interpret a teenager’s thoughts and I think even he’d go bonkers by the end of the day. After numerous shady, jilting, heart-wrenching and emotionally shaking events, I finally threw my hands up and waved the white flag. Feeling pretty much shattered in all aspects I turned to look back at year when my emotional life to a leaping soar and a dive down the cliffs all at the same time. Disastrous? Pretty much. Yet, I did learn something remarkable though (I always do), never be too hasty when it comes to matters of the heart. Take as long as you like and never succumb to peer pressure. Just because your friends have boyfriends doesn’t mean that you’re ready even though you think you are.
I have to say, I am pretty astonished as how I reflect upon how much I have grown as an individual. Not only as a girl embracing the world, but as a human being on terms of intellect and as well as wisdom. I attained 20 years worth of wisdom in a year. It took a lot of pain and many more gripping moments in my life, but well, life goes on. And though running away is never an option, I started afresh. With new prospects and resolutions, I look forward to a new year with much anticipation and enthusiasm as I kiss goodbye a beautiful year of sorrow and bliss. I shed a tear for the time that has passed and as the year brushes past me, I feel blanketed by the security that the tears and pain that I had endured, was a gem in the making. A priceless treasure.
I have had a beautiful year. Regardless of the pain and misery that had come to embellish it, I have truly learnt a lot from this year in particular. I have grown and I have acquired not intelligence but rather I have been bestowed with wisdom. As they say, there are things that only life can teach which cannot be derived from a mere text book, and I have had the incredible opportunity of realizing this saying hands on. There are so many things that I have learnt that I do not know and may never know but there is one thing that I lucubrated, that is no matter what, perseverance comes easy when you bear in mind the loved ones that we live for. Many a times, I have coiled at the distaste for life itself, and truthfully I shudder to think of the consequence had I not dutifully pondered about my filial responsibilities. There were times that I truly wished I could simply resign this fate and take the easy way out of escaping this emotional whirlwind that was tearing me apart from the inside
My life fraught with complications placed me in a constant state of imbroglio. Mind at wreaking havoc, heart constantly enduring upheavals and despairs added on with a conscience and soul that was as unsettled as an ocean caught in a storm. I underwent many emotional challenging moments that virtually rendered me helpless and for the first time, it dawned on me that the protected and sheltered life that I had been blessed with had become the very reason for my social misjudgments and errs. Unable to interpret situations and actions, I took the most naive approach at life and the world only to receive the cruelest shocks that shook the very foundations of my beliefs.
Needless to say, I was left in a complete muddle over things and being the introvert that I am when it came to matters of the mind and heart, I was more than resolute to dictate my own moves and restrict my burdens to myself. Not the wisest of moves, you may think, but I am brought up in a family where the word conservative is defined quite differently. On the outlook, we may be as modern as any other forward thinking family, but truly, we are as traditional and rooted to our moral upbringing and culture as any other family. Not that this is a bad thing, for I am proud and glad that my family has blessed me with such knowledge about my background and culture for these are aspects that really do color and individual and give them a certain distinctive virtue.
But there was one drawback that came with this virtuous trait, the lack of liberality. My parents were sticklers for the “R & R”. In my case it isn’t a joyous case Rest and Relaxation but rather quite the contrary of Rules and Regulations. I don’t blame them as they now live in a world that the most despicable acts are committed right next door! (Figure of speech mind you, my neighbors are neither criminals nor perverts) But then again, how is a girl supposed to find her way around life if she’s molly coddled at every turn? I think my predicament is now slightly clearer to those who thought my life was a bed of roses. Though I do have my complaints and my frets, (like all other teenagers do), I learnt through experience that they want the best for us and all that they bear in mind is our safety and happiness. Sometimes, they may go about it the wrong way, as the environment that they were brought up in was a lot more conservative than ours, making them rather rigid about their life, but all this aside, their intentions are as noble as ever. And for this sole reason, I love them beyond the depths of my soul.
Apart from the invaluable precedents that have equipped me so efficiently with such blossoming love and gratitude towards my parents I had my fair share of pain to deal with. Yes, that’s right. Adolescence strikes again and this time I was really shattered by the state of affairs that were pelting on me like a hailstorm. I found myself in a world that was parallel to mine yet completely alien to all that I knew and thought I knew. No knowledge of physics or general knowledge was applicable in the presence of teen angst. I mean, ask Albert Einstein to interpret a teenager’s thoughts and I think even he’d go bonkers by the end of the day. After numerous shady, jilting, heart-wrenching and emotionally shaking events, I finally threw my hands up and waved the white flag. Feeling pretty much shattered in all aspects I turned to look back at year when my emotional life to a leaping soar and a dive down the cliffs all at the same time. Disastrous? Pretty much. Yet, I did learn something remarkable though (I always do), never be too hasty when it comes to matters of the heart. Take as long as you like and never succumb to peer pressure. Just because your friends have boyfriends doesn’t mean that you’re ready even though you think you are.
I have to say, I am pretty astonished as how I reflect upon how much I have grown as an individual. Not only as a girl embracing the world, but as a human being on terms of intellect and as well as wisdom. I attained 20 years worth of wisdom in a year. It took a lot of pain and many more gripping moments in my life, but well, life goes on. And though running away is never an option, I started afresh. With new prospects and resolutions, I look forward to a new year with much anticipation and enthusiasm as I kiss goodbye a beautiful year of sorrow and bliss. I shed a tear for the time that has passed and as the year brushes past me, I feel blanketed by the security that the tears and pain that I had endured, was a gem in the making. A priceless treasure.
