Every morning I awaken to a single thought and resolution. One saying plays over in my head like a recorder, enforcing my thought and cementing my resolution. " Time heals all wounds". What a saying. I’ve always held it close to my heart (seeing that this is the part of me that usually required the most healing) as I truly believed that time had the power to mend broken fences, limbs and of course most naturally hearts. But sometimes when you have a mind that wonders of as frequently as mine, you tend to ask yourself more than once, how long or rather, how much time does it take to heal a deeply wounded heart? Sometimes I begin to view my principle rather dubiously. My principles in life have always guidelined and helped navigate my actions and life’s path, but recently, I feel that my entire life has taken a tumultuous upheavel of late. Every move I’ve made seem to have disastrous consequences and all of my effort at rectifying my life’s calamities only seem to exacerbate the problems.
I have caught myself often puzzled about what I was supposed to understand about all these piling problems in my life that seem to be sprouting about like fungi. Somehow, my solid guideline doesn’t seem so sturdy as I watch my life crumble before my very eyes. It does seem somehow extraordinary and in a somewhat twisted way, amusing to discover the real essence of life in the most unexpected places. Amazement might hit you like a ton of bricks but I found it in the very place I refused to even glance, right at home.
Yes, that’s right. Take in your enormous gasps of incredulity and let those eyeballs pop within their sockets. I found my answers within the very four walls that I have been so reluctantly held captive in. I resisted furiously of course, the natural rebellion that blossomed within my soul catalyzed by the teen age that accompanied. But after the veil of adolescence descended, heart broken, soul shattered, trivial enjoyment cast aside, it was time to embrace life for its actual exemplification. The time had come to delve into life with a mature approach to life and accept the hardship that had come with the reconciliation of my sorrowful past (resulted in my actions of course). With the necessary precautions, steps and amendments perfectly executed with the unwavering support of my parents coupled with their unflinching faith I managed to rectify nearly all the damage that I had inflicted upon myself.
Of course with all the help I was getting, or what I’m portraying, it would seem that my life had become a blissful heaven all over again. However, sadly enough that I have to disappoint, life wasn’t a bed of roses. There were still tiny shards of my shattered life that had not been completely obliterated. There were loose ends that were screaming to be tied up and bits and pieces scattered about. I truly held on to the saying, " time heals all wounds", believing that all those loose ends will shrink away in the course of time. But most essentially I truly postulated my heart to heal as well. I thought that as time passed through the days, hours and minutes, the pain will dissipate and the angst will dissolve with the laughter that I believed would arrive with the future that I grew accustomed to anticipate.
It never came. My healing never took place and I lay battered today as I did on the very day of the incident. I awake every morning, including the morning of the mentioned, and I suppose the morning and the many more mornings to follow with the pain that weighs so drastically over my now timid heart. Bruised and zinged I began to grow weary of this wait, fearing that it may never come my way. But faith lives on no matter what and with the unfaltering guidance my family provides, I am ascertained that I will pull through. Miserably and devastated or not, I will. This is my fillial promise and obligation that I will fulfill.
I have caught myself often puzzled about what I was supposed to understand about all these piling problems in my life that seem to be sprouting about like fungi. Somehow, my solid guideline doesn’t seem so sturdy as I watch my life crumble before my very eyes. It does seem somehow extraordinary and in a somewhat twisted way, amusing to discover the real essence of life in the most unexpected places. Amazement might hit you like a ton of bricks but I found it in the very place I refused to even glance, right at home.
Yes, that’s right. Take in your enormous gasps of incredulity and let those eyeballs pop within their sockets. I found my answers within the very four walls that I have been so reluctantly held captive in. I resisted furiously of course, the natural rebellion that blossomed within my soul catalyzed by the teen age that accompanied. But after the veil of adolescence descended, heart broken, soul shattered, trivial enjoyment cast aside, it was time to embrace life for its actual exemplification. The time had come to delve into life with a mature approach to life and accept the hardship that had come with the reconciliation of my sorrowful past (resulted in my actions of course). With the necessary precautions, steps and amendments perfectly executed with the unwavering support of my parents coupled with their unflinching faith I managed to rectify nearly all the damage that I had inflicted upon myself.
Of course with all the help I was getting, or what I’m portraying, it would seem that my life had become a blissful heaven all over again. However, sadly enough that I have to disappoint, life wasn’t a bed of roses. There were still tiny shards of my shattered life that had not been completely obliterated. There were loose ends that were screaming to be tied up and bits and pieces scattered about. I truly held on to the saying, " time heals all wounds", believing that all those loose ends will shrink away in the course of time. But most essentially I truly postulated my heart to heal as well. I thought that as time passed through the days, hours and minutes, the pain will dissipate and the angst will dissolve with the laughter that I believed would arrive with the future that I grew accustomed to anticipate.
It never came. My healing never took place and I lay battered today as I did on the very day of the incident. I awake every morning, including the morning of the mentioned, and I suppose the morning and the many more mornings to follow with the pain that weighs so drastically over my now timid heart. Bruised and zinged I began to grow weary of this wait, fearing that it may never come my way. But faith lives on no matter what and with the unfaltering guidance my family provides, I am ascertained that I will pull through. Miserably and devastated or not, I will. This is my fillial promise and obligation that I will fulfill.
