Why do we make the choices we do? What governs our actions? How do we choose to sacrifice one aspect of our lives in favor of another? How can we be so blinded to so many voices around us in favor for something that does nothing but purely gratifies our desires?
So many questions ran through my head when I was faced with a recent conundrum. Aspects I had never pondered on before surfaced from depths I had not submerged to before. Interestingly enough, these issues were not mine personally, but they set of a chain of events that triggered question after question in my mind.
Someone once told me, you wouldn’t understand love as you’ve never actually been in a real relationship before. As much as that stung, I have to admit it’s true. My relationships have never really been full-fledged neither have they been in the actual sense of the word REAL. May be I’m prone to self-sabotage potential relationships, maybe I’m hesitant of emotional (and for all you snickering idiots out there, physical as well) intimacy or maybe I’m simply way to picky for my own good. Whatever the reason may be behind my choices, the fact of the matter is, I haven’t really experienced romantic love like some people have. And reaching a far crying age of 22, it seems rather pathetic. But the one matter that bothered me is that, how could anyone deny me the right at claiming that though I had not experienced the emotion, that I would not understand it? I do realize that an emotion has to be thoroughly felt in order to achieve the extent of what it entails, but to say that I had no inkling of what it was in entirety was rather ignorant, or so my ego would perceive.
So from a completely naïve and inexperienced perspective, I drew out what I thought love truly is. To me to love someone is to put them ahead of you. To find it deep within the realms of your heart to make decisions that would be for the better of them and not in motion with your own desires. Love should motivate, appreciate and generate a positive growth and not deteriorate or stagnate a person’s growth. Pain is inevitable in love but that pain should never be a deterrence but it should help enforce a person to deal with the harsh realities of life. It should be there in moments of sorrow and fragments of joy. The one emotion to draw strength from and the one emotion to share insecurities with. Love should give you a world’s worth of confidence and yet be your guiding force in keeping you grounded. It is the emotion that sets equilibrium in life and propels that need for happiness and a drive to succeed not for the means of gratifying your ego but for the simplest means of seeing a smile on your better half’s face.
To love is to desire to give them the world and yet wanting nothing in return. To yearn to see a beautiful smile carved upon the face that lights your heart with joy. To see that sparkle in their eyes at the thought that you’ve brought them pride. The simple look of gratitude that makes you feel that you’ve succeeded in life.
Love aims to make you a better person. It aims to lift you to new heights. Love never detracts nor does it ever retract. I may not know in entirety what love is all about from a romantic perspective but I do know what love feels like and I know that the love I’ve shared and experienced through life has thought me these very tiny yet significant lessons. The love I’ve had for my parents have seen sacrifices but never to an extent that would diminish the person I am. The love I’ve shared with my friends has motivated me in doing better in life. The laughter, joy and tears we’ve shared simply adds to the fact that our lives are intertwined with great complexity but none too complex to know that we want the best for each other. We push each other up that step ladder and would never hesitate in crawling back down a step to help boost one of us up. Sacrifice and love do tend to go hand in hand. But to what extent would love accept sacrifice as an accompaniment? If life was to be taken for granted and all that was to be gained out of love was pain and misery, then that would be a far cry from love itself. To throw away life as a mere excuse of loving someone is not sacrifice, its stupidity.
Never besmirch love with lust and never associate sacrifice with the vain attempts at securing your lustful urges. That is by far the greatest insult that anyone could ever bestow upon the name of love. Love isn’t simply an emotion shared by two people that leave all reason and logic at the door. Love is also shared between a father and a daughter, a brother and a sister and its shared by friends alike. So never turn your back on all that love that’s already surrounded in claims that you’re doing so for love. For the truth lies within you as much as others can see it too, that what’s in your heart was definitely not love but in essence, lust.
Love is indeed as you had said. :) Couldn't agree more. How the world see it, it is like a complete different thing and they always tend to associate it with lust which i think that is so wrong. Ah, hope the people will understand love one day. :) have fun and take care!! Love you!! :)
Sad though that most people beg to differ... But then again, isn't love subjective to begin with? Emotion is after all subject to interpretation, manifestation and internalization isn't it? Love u too!!