Blue Monday
Dee
I know its a clichè but I suppose I have been caught up with the Monday Blues... There are so many things that I want to do, so many things I want to say... But for some reason, I simply can't bring myself to doing any of them or saying them out loud. Its as though there's a wedge buried inside me that I can't choke out. I imagined all sorts of adventures, meeting all sorts of people and discovering all sorts of places. To be frank, though I didn't want to leave home, I was a little excited at the prospect of being somewhere different for a change. I was scared, I won't lie, but I still had a tiny inkling in me that felt I could possibly like my new home in a strange, foreign land. Today, I think to myself, where is that sense of excitement? What happened to the jolt of adrenaline I used to feel when I thought of this place? Were my expectations too high? Had I upstaged my adventure all in my mind? Ironically, staying with family has never made me feel more estranged than I feel now... I've seen and experienced my fair share of dysfunctional families but this one seems to have an affect on me like no other. Perhaps its the notion that I feel my arrival here is far from welcomed. I feel like I've imposed... I have never been one to receive charity...And I mean be it by anyone, I find it almost difficult to seek help unless I'm absolutely comfortable with a person. I don't know if its pride, but I do know that I am unwilling to allow myself to seem vulnerable to anyone. To trust someone I'm not tremendously close to with the fact that I'm susceptible is not a thought that I'm willing to even consider. I wouldn't say its pride but a sense of fear. Fear that I may be scorned upon. Fear that I may not be able to live up to the expectations that surround me. Fear that I may very well be a disappointment to all.

Sitting here without company or my usual hectic schedule to distract me, I'm faced with all the pent up worries that had been bubbling inside unnoticed all this while. I drowned myself with work and company because I was afraid to deal with these issues and now that I have nothing to keep my mind occupied, I can't help but submerge myself in this cauldron of brewing poison. At first I thought that it would be healthy to deal with these issues. It would be a way of understanding myself and that it was finally time for me to resolve these problems. But the deeper and deeper I dig, the more frightened I become. I'm frightened of what I might uncover. I'm afraid of what I might unearth. Am I really the person that I seem to be? Or is there a whole pile of crap stewing on the inside? Frankly, I don't know if I can deal with it on my own.

I've had amazing friends all my life. And one of the most daunting trepidations I faced before coming here would be making and meeting the same kind of friends that I was leaving behind. At first I brushed my quandaries aside, attributing them to my known neuroticism and paranoia, but its been a whole month and I've never felt lonelier in my life. Despite the fact that I'm living with family makes me feel worse that I could feel so lonely. Confined to a house that I barely recognize as it feels hollow, empty and cold makes me want to curl up in bed and not wake up. I just feel so lost and alone. Every morning I wake up with a thought or rather, a hope that today would be different. Today I would discover that I belonged here... That I felt at peace... only to end the day counting the days till I would return home. Its so difficult waking up some times and wondering where I am.... Wondering where is this place..... Wondering what I'm doing here....The only reason I'm here in this empty nest is for the one I left.... They have such big dreams and hopes for me... Such wonderful expectations that I can't help but find it hurting my shoulders as I carry it day and night... Will I ever be good enough to fulfill their wishes? All the pain and hurt inside is nothing compared to the one I would face if I let them down... Nothing would break my heart more than to see my family saddened by worst of all, me. I just wished things weren't so hard. I just wish I felt a little sense of familiarity... A feeling of belonging...
Labels: 5 Seams and Embellishments | edit post
The Day TV Laughed At Me
Dee

Ever had the feeling that the world was against you? That you were one big joke? Or more specifically, one big cosmic joke? Yep. Today was my day for coincidence to come biting me in the ass. My day started out as harmless as days go. I made a little something for breakfast, a nice steamy cup of coffee and sidled down on the couch to watch some good old television. Gilmore Girls was on and I decided to watch it seeing that it had been years since I'd watched the series. Not having kept up with the developments in the storyline I was a little lost as Rory had some new friends and one of them, this Korean girl (I forget her name~sorry) was getting married. Frankly, they seemed pretty young to be married and the Korean girl's stiff, uptight mother was on the same wavelength as I was. She walks into the bridal room, nods Rory out and turns to face her daughter with an air of impatience and rigidity. Pulling up a chair for her daughter and herself she sits down and shushes her daughter silent as she goes on to tell her that she has obligations to her husband as a wife. Tonight for the first time she will have to do unspeakable things. She will have to "do it". All this occurs as her daughter unsuccessfully tries to interrupt her (possibly to tell her distressed mother that they had already "done it") The mother however, silences her and goes on to say that she has to"do it" possibly tonight to satisfy her husband and if she was as lucky as her (the mother) she would only have to do it once! I swear coffee left my mouth in the most unpleasant manner as I choked down on the remaining bit in my mouth. Tearing up as the coffee had shot to my brain, all I could think about was WHAT?! This is UNREAL! Joke of my life on Gilmore Girls... Laughing out loud in an empty house till tears streamed down my face as I wiped the droplets of coffee off the (ironically) coffee table, I couldn't help wondering if God was trying to send me a message of some kind. If He was, what the heck is it??

A little later in the afternoon, one of my favorite TV classics, The Nanny was on. Having been an avid Nanny fan, I'd caught most of the episodes and was absolutely delighted that the episode on TV today was one I had not caught yet. Somewhere through the show I watched as Fran ushered Maxwell into the kitchen gushing at how cute her parents were and all that. And somehow the conversation stopped at how its weird to imagine people having sex and her going on to say that she was glad her parents never did. I stopped dead in my tracks all of a sudden and the scene from Gilmore Girls flashed before my eyes. Really? Two in a row? For some inexplicably absurd reason, one question entered my mind. Was my daughter (or son) going to think that of me and my husband one day?? And as that question materialized, I looked up at the ceiling and glared. Yeah, God above the ceiling, thats for you.

And of course, as the saying goes, three times a charm. As I was channel surfing (nothing else to watch) I came upon Sex and the City. Never having watched the show before as I found it too sexually explicit (more than I can stomach anyway) I decided to just grit my teeth and watch the remaining 3 minutes on it (beats watching commercials while waiting for Friends to start) Four women were sitting at a table bantering about...what else, sex. And this red haired woman, (Miranda I think) goes on to ask why its so hard for a man to please a woman sexually. The other older woman, Samantha answers that its because they're men (whatever the heck thats supposed to mean) Then they banter on about some statistics on the frequency of people having sex and how the age of people who are sexually active is decreasing in number... And just as I was paying less and less attention (sex isn't my favorite topic of discussion) I hear one of them pipe "Well, if you hit you're twenties and don't know what an orgasm feels like, honey, something ain't right with you." Ouch. I felt like hurling a brick at this woman! Just cause you can't seem to keep your pants on doesn't make others a walking plank!!! We have feelings too! Maybe we don't know what an orgasm is like (or practically speaking, what is is) but we know how to keep our pants on and others OUT of it! As I was boiling and simmering over, a list of swear words ran through my mind. But of course, in a while, I calmed down and skated over the issue lightly. Call me paranoid but I have this nagging inkling at the back of my head that God's trying to mess with my head again! I had a thought of throwing a brick up at him only to realize (stupidly) that the same brick ain't gonna reach him but definitely will smash my head on its way down. Hmm... perhaps there's another lesson in that one too...

Labels: 1 Seams and Embellishments | edit post
Was I The Only One
Dee
I have to credit Abnormal with this song. I know Stinky and Ugly will definitely have something to say about it. But imagine me wheedling....But you guys.... I CAN'T HELP IT!!! *grins!

Was I The Only One- Jordin Sparks



P.S Seeing that the video comes with the lyrics, I don't really need to have it written out do I?

Smiles!


















Labels: 0 Seams and Embellishments | edit post
A Very Interesting Day
Dee
Today as it turns out was not as uneventful as I had expected to be when I woke up. I mean with Easter public holidays over (my school break is still on though) I thought I'd be seeing a lot of grumpy, sullen faces on the train today. Unfortunately for me, I had to make a 2 and a half hour trip to college today as I had to return a library book that was due. And this means that I had to travel for 5 hours for the sake of a book. I suppose I could grumble and whine about it but looking at the glass half full, I guess it was a good thing as I was able to get out of the house for a change.

Okay, I'm side-tracking here, back to the story.

So, on the way to Curtin at the bus station, I sit at the bench, earphones stuffed in and a book in hand (yes! I finally bought one! Hurray me!) wondering aimlessly if the bus would be a little late as I had noticed the traffic jam as I walked to the station. Just as I was about to go back to grinding my nose to my book, this old guy (I would say he's in his late 60s or perhaps early 70s) sits down beside me and starts rummaging in his pockets. Giving him a tiny smile of acknowledgement, I go back to my book only to be interrupted a few minutes later by a pat on the arm. I look up to see the old man peering at me with concern. He thought he'd missed the bus. After assuring him that he hadn't as I'd have seen the bus arrive, I explained about the traffic jam and the possibility that the bus would be a little late. With that little reassurance, the old guy calms down and we strike up a chat. Deducing that I'm not local (obviously!) he asks me where I'm from and what I'm doing here. At first, I was a little hesitant (never talk to strangers they say~ but he seemed like a really nice old man) but then I put my anxieties aside and entertained him. He then went on to tell me how he came from Spain and is now living with his son in Germany and how he'd come down to Australia to visit his daughter (she just had a baby) We talked for a good 20 minutes when his bus arrived. As I was helping him gather his things, he took my hand (by surprise rather) held it for about 10 seconds before saying to me, "You're the sweetest girl I've ever met. You have such a good heart" I was so touched that I simply stared back at him... "It was so nice meeting you and I hope you get you happiness everywhere (his English wasn't perfect but it was good enough)" I thanked him and squeezed his hand goodbye as he got onto the bus, wishing him a good day.

Going back to the bench with a smile on my face, I couldn't imagine a more perfect beginning to my day. Suddenly, I didn't feel so alone anymore. I may not know anyone here (okay I do, but not many) and I may not be particularly close to anyone here but what I do know is that I can still feel part of something and today I felt part of someone's day and I do sincerely wish that its a good day for him. Not believing that things could possibly get any better today I boarded my bus that arrived soon after. Still smiling to myself thinking about the old gentleman earlier, I let myself get absorbed into my own thoughts simply drifting off (it is a 45 minutes to an hour's worth of travelling so why not right?)

Somewhere halfway through the journey, I notice the bus begin to pull away from one of the stops slowly only to jerk to a halting stop. Slightly thrown off guard by the slamming of the brakes I look around for the cause of the abrupt stop when I see an old man (whats with the old men you may wonder... your guess is as good as mine!) running towards the bus. I must admit the first thing that entered my mind was, wow, he's pretty fit for a guy who seems to be closing in on his 60s. Breathing heavily, he gets into the bus and with a loud chuckle thanks the driver for being "a good lad" (really! I've only ever heard that word being used in old English movies! It was a tickle!) Staggering slightly as the bus moved, he grabbed a seat not too far away, facing me. I was smiling (unawaringly) at the situation at hand and he saw me (I couldn't tell right away as he had shades on~ or I would have looked away!) and smiled back at me. "Having a good day?" he asked rather loudly. "So far so good," I replied rather meekly (I'm not one for loud conversations with complete strangers on a bus thats been so silent) "Its a bloody hot day it is! Bloody hot!" he banters on as he wipes his forehead with a raggedy looking handkerchief. I nod back at him with a smile unable to dispute this fact as the heat was searing through my jeans. "Very!" I say back. Then for some reason, he takes a rather long look at me, lets out a good hearty chuckle and goes on to say, "Well, me stops here (a rather quick journey, I thought) and you have a good day love. I can tell, you're a sweetheart you are." Letting out another chuckle he walks to the front as I call out, "you have a good day too!" and turns around as the bus stops, thanks the driver and says, "Bye love, hope you're day is as good as I mine or better!" and ambles off with a huge grin carved on his face. I must say, I was delighted and quite frankly amused at this little exchange. I smiled all the way to Curtin. =)

All the events of the day had slipped my mind as I waited for the bus to get home. I had a book in hand that I was devouring intently and my mind lapsed for short breaks and nothing more. The journey back to Wellington (the bus and train terminal) was uneventful. It was a slow, hot and dull travel back but I had no complaints having finished quite a bit of my book. As I got off the bus, I noticed how quiet it was at that time of day. The usually bustling place was nearly empty, with police officers pacing around mindlessly. As I was walking, a man (probably in his late 20s, early 30s) who was dressed rather shabbily I would say approached me. At first, I was a little puzzled as the guy seemed a little disheveled and uncertain of himself. He mumbled out to me that he needed 2 dollars and 50 cents for a bus ticket desperately and didn't have enough money on him. I felt really sorry for him as he seemed a little anxious. Probably lost his wallet or something, I thought. I search my wallets and find some spare change that I hand over. He thanks me, without so much as looking at me and walks away with his head down. Odd, I thought... But I shrugged it off and popped into the bathroom on my way to the exit. About 5 minutes later, I stroll out of the bathroom and make my way to the station exit. As I'm walking out I see the same man earlier and this time he's accosted (yes, I will use this word for sneaky pilferers!) another woman with the same story! I hear the whole load of crap as I walk by thinking of how stupid I am... Probably a junkie or a substance addict desperately trying to get his daily dose. So much for a kind deed. Shaking my head in disappointment I walk out of the station, making a solemn promise (which truthfully I know I'll never be able to keep) to myself never to help anyone who comes to me for "change" again.

Finally arriving at the train station, I look around to ascertain my prospects of being able to get a seat on the train. Pretty good, I gather and look up to check how long I would have to wait for the train. I glance up at the board to see a big four staring back at me. 4 minutes, great. Which usually means the train will be here in 2... not long then. As my gaze shifts back down, it falls on a pretty Javanese looking girl. I can tell she's local from the way she's dressed. She's staring at me with a rather unusual look. Caught a little off guard, I give her a rather uncomfortable smile and look away. She had the tiniest smile on her face when she was looking at me but it didn't seem very friendly... I couldn't place my finger on it but the girl rattled me a little.

The train arrives soon after and I board it... I move to a window seat, pleased that the train was rather empty and settled in my seat comfortably. Just as the train doors were closing I see the same Javanese looking girl walk up and plonk herself beside me. Now, I'm simply puzzled. There were at least 4 empty seats from the other car on her way here and of all the places she chose to sit beside me. Tentatively, I look out the window trying to be cool (I'm not paranoid! It just struck me as weird! Woman's intuition!) "Hi! I'm Liyana (or Leanna or however it is her name's spelt- impertinent) and you are?" she chirps. I give her a small smile and reach out to grasp her extended hand "Deeviana, nice to meet you." "What a pretty name!" she exclaims. Okay, my name's different, I know, but I didn't see it as a point worthy of an exclamation but thats how she put it. "Thanks" I reply. Just as I'm about to turn back to the window she asks me where I'm from. We exchange a few questions and answers about each other and I start warming up to this girl. She seems genuinely nice. We laugh a little and she tells me a little about her job as a sales assistant at this place near the Esplanade and that she lives in Wanneroo. My stop comes right before hers and I tell her that as my stop approaches. I get up and inch my way out but right before I move to the door she stops me and says that she really likes me and hopes that we can stay in touch. I was delighted and just as I'm about to give her my number she goes on to say "You know, I think you're pretty and nice. You can come visit me sometime, you know. I live alone." And she says all this while she's STROKING my hand. I think the color in my face drained momentarily (and I'm Indian so that means something) "I think you have me mistaken," I stammer nervously at her. "I'm straight." She looks at me dumbfounded (I'm so glad I got up a station earlier or this exchange would have been so awkward if I didn't explain myself to her) And then goes on to retort "But thats impossible!" Thankfully, my stopped arrived and I managed to mumble out a bye and make my way out from the train. Trailing along the walkway, I kept thinking to myself. Impossible? WHY impossible??

Somehow, now I feel like the word interesting as a title is rather understated. It should read bizarre! But I'll focus on the kind old gentlemen... I haven't smiled as much since I got here and well, I guess the doubting of my sexual orientation was a little funny. Well, its made me laugh now at least and I don't remember laughing much since I got here either. So all in all, a bizarre but rather splendid day!
Labels: 4 Seams and Embellishments | edit post

Monday, April 19, 2010

Blue Monday

Monday, April 19, 2010 Posted by Dee
I know its a clichè but I suppose I have been caught up with the Monday Blues... There are so many things that I want to do, so many things I want to say... But for some reason, I simply can't bring myself to doing any of them or saying them out loud. Its as though there's a wedge buried inside me that I can't choke out. I imagined all sorts of adventures, meeting all sorts of people and discovering all sorts of places. To be frank, though I didn't want to leave home, I was a little excited at the prospect of being somewhere different for a change. I was scared, I won't lie, but I still had a tiny inkling in me that felt I could possibly like my new home in a strange, foreign land. Today, I think to myself, where is that sense of excitement? What happened to the jolt of adrenaline I used to feel when I thought of this place? Were my expectations too high? Had I upstaged my adventure all in my mind? Ironically, staying with family has never made me feel more estranged than I feel now... I've seen and experienced my fair share of dysfunctional families but this one seems to have an affect on me like no other. Perhaps its the notion that I feel my arrival here is far from welcomed. I feel like I've imposed... I have never been one to receive charity...And I mean be it by anyone, I find it almost difficult to seek help unless I'm absolutely comfortable with a person. I don't know if its pride, but I do know that I am unwilling to allow myself to seem vulnerable to anyone. To trust someone I'm not tremendously close to with the fact that I'm susceptible is not a thought that I'm willing to even consider. I wouldn't say its pride but a sense of fear. Fear that I may be scorned upon. Fear that I may not be able to live up to the expectations that surround me. Fear that I may very well be a disappointment to all.

Sitting here without company or my usual hectic schedule to distract me, I'm faced with all the pent up worries that had been bubbling inside unnoticed all this while. I drowned myself with work and company because I was afraid to deal with these issues and now that I have nothing to keep my mind occupied, I can't help but submerge myself in this cauldron of brewing poison. At first I thought that it would be healthy to deal with these issues. It would be a way of understanding myself and that it was finally time for me to resolve these problems. But the deeper and deeper I dig, the more frightened I become. I'm frightened of what I might uncover. I'm afraid of what I might unearth. Am I really the person that I seem to be? Or is there a whole pile of crap stewing on the inside? Frankly, I don't know if I can deal with it on my own.

I've had amazing friends all my life. And one of the most daunting trepidations I faced before coming here would be making and meeting the same kind of friends that I was leaving behind. At first I brushed my quandaries aside, attributing them to my known neuroticism and paranoia, but its been a whole month and I've never felt lonelier in my life. Despite the fact that I'm living with family makes me feel worse that I could feel so lonely. Confined to a house that I barely recognize as it feels hollow, empty and cold makes me want to curl up in bed and not wake up. I just feel so lost and alone. Every morning I wake up with a thought or rather, a hope that today would be different. Today I would discover that I belonged here... That I felt at peace... only to end the day counting the days till I would return home. Its so difficult waking up some times and wondering where I am.... Wondering where is this place..... Wondering what I'm doing here....The only reason I'm here in this empty nest is for the one I left.... They have such big dreams and hopes for me... Such wonderful expectations that I can't help but find it hurting my shoulders as I carry it day and night... Will I ever be good enough to fulfill their wishes? All the pain and hurt inside is nothing compared to the one I would face if I let them down... Nothing would break my heart more than to see my family saddened by worst of all, me. I just wished things weren't so hard. I just wish I felt a little sense of familiarity... A feeling of belonging...
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Friday, April 09, 2010

The Day TV Laughed At Me

Friday, April 09, 2010 Posted by Dee

Ever had the feeling that the world was against you? That you were one big joke? Or more specifically, one big cosmic joke? Yep. Today was my day for coincidence to come biting me in the ass. My day started out as harmless as days go. I made a little something for breakfast, a nice steamy cup of coffee and sidled down on the couch to watch some good old television. Gilmore Girls was on and I decided to watch it seeing that it had been years since I'd watched the series. Not having kept up with the developments in the storyline I was a little lost as Rory had some new friends and one of them, this Korean girl (I forget her name~sorry) was getting married. Frankly, they seemed pretty young to be married and the Korean girl's stiff, uptight mother was on the same wavelength as I was. She walks into the bridal room, nods Rory out and turns to face her daughter with an air of impatience and rigidity. Pulling up a chair for her daughter and herself she sits down and shushes her daughter silent as she goes on to tell her that she has obligations to her husband as a wife. Tonight for the first time she will have to do unspeakable things. She will have to "do it". All this occurs as her daughter unsuccessfully tries to interrupt her (possibly to tell her distressed mother that they had already "done it") The mother however, silences her and goes on to say that she has to"do it" possibly tonight to satisfy her husband and if she was as lucky as her (the mother) she would only have to do it once! I swear coffee left my mouth in the most unpleasant manner as I choked down on the remaining bit in my mouth. Tearing up as the coffee had shot to my brain, all I could think about was WHAT?! This is UNREAL! Joke of my life on Gilmore Girls... Laughing out loud in an empty house till tears streamed down my face as I wiped the droplets of coffee off the (ironically) coffee table, I couldn't help wondering if God was trying to send me a message of some kind. If He was, what the heck is it??

A little later in the afternoon, one of my favorite TV classics, The Nanny was on. Having been an avid Nanny fan, I'd caught most of the episodes and was absolutely delighted that the episode on TV today was one I had not caught yet. Somewhere through the show I watched as Fran ushered Maxwell into the kitchen gushing at how cute her parents were and all that. And somehow the conversation stopped at how its weird to imagine people having sex and her going on to say that she was glad her parents never did. I stopped dead in my tracks all of a sudden and the scene from Gilmore Girls flashed before my eyes. Really? Two in a row? For some inexplicably absurd reason, one question entered my mind. Was my daughter (or son) going to think that of me and my husband one day?? And as that question materialized, I looked up at the ceiling and glared. Yeah, God above the ceiling, thats for you.

And of course, as the saying goes, three times a charm. As I was channel surfing (nothing else to watch) I came upon Sex and the City. Never having watched the show before as I found it too sexually explicit (more than I can stomach anyway) I decided to just grit my teeth and watch the remaining 3 minutes on it (beats watching commercials while waiting for Friends to start) Four women were sitting at a table bantering about...what else, sex. And this red haired woman, (Miranda I think) goes on to ask why its so hard for a man to please a woman sexually. The other older woman, Samantha answers that its because they're men (whatever the heck thats supposed to mean) Then they banter on about some statistics on the frequency of people having sex and how the age of people who are sexually active is decreasing in number... And just as I was paying less and less attention (sex isn't my favorite topic of discussion) I hear one of them pipe "Well, if you hit you're twenties and don't know what an orgasm feels like, honey, something ain't right with you." Ouch. I felt like hurling a brick at this woman! Just cause you can't seem to keep your pants on doesn't make others a walking plank!!! We have feelings too! Maybe we don't know what an orgasm is like (or practically speaking, what is is) but we know how to keep our pants on and others OUT of it! As I was boiling and simmering over, a list of swear words ran through my mind. But of course, in a while, I calmed down and skated over the issue lightly. Call me paranoid but I have this nagging inkling at the back of my head that God's trying to mess with my head again! I had a thought of throwing a brick up at him only to realize (stupidly) that the same brick ain't gonna reach him but definitely will smash my head on its way down. Hmm... perhaps there's another lesson in that one too...

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Tuesday, April 06, 2010

Was I The Only One

Tuesday, April 06, 2010 Posted by Dee
I have to credit Abnormal with this song. I know Stinky and Ugly will definitely have something to say about it. But imagine me wheedling....But you guys.... I CAN'T HELP IT!!! *grins!

Was I The Only One- Jordin Sparks



P.S Seeing that the video comes with the lyrics, I don't really need to have it written out do I?

Smiles!


















0 comments Labels:

A Very Interesting Day

Tuesday, April 06, 2010 Posted by Dee
Today as it turns out was not as uneventful as I had expected to be when I woke up. I mean with Easter public holidays over (my school break is still on though) I thought I'd be seeing a lot of grumpy, sullen faces on the train today. Unfortunately for me, I had to make a 2 and a half hour trip to college today as I had to return a library book that was due. And this means that I had to travel for 5 hours for the sake of a book. I suppose I could grumble and whine about it but looking at the glass half full, I guess it was a good thing as I was able to get out of the house for a change.

Okay, I'm side-tracking here, back to the story.

So, on the way to Curtin at the bus station, I sit at the bench, earphones stuffed in and a book in hand (yes! I finally bought one! Hurray me!) wondering aimlessly if the bus would be a little late as I had noticed the traffic jam as I walked to the station. Just as I was about to go back to grinding my nose to my book, this old guy (I would say he's in his late 60s or perhaps early 70s) sits down beside me and starts rummaging in his pockets. Giving him a tiny smile of acknowledgement, I go back to my book only to be interrupted a few minutes later by a pat on the arm. I look up to see the old man peering at me with concern. He thought he'd missed the bus. After assuring him that he hadn't as I'd have seen the bus arrive, I explained about the traffic jam and the possibility that the bus would be a little late. With that little reassurance, the old guy calms down and we strike up a chat. Deducing that I'm not local (obviously!) he asks me where I'm from and what I'm doing here. At first, I was a little hesitant (never talk to strangers they say~ but he seemed like a really nice old man) but then I put my anxieties aside and entertained him. He then went on to tell me how he came from Spain and is now living with his son in Germany and how he'd come down to Australia to visit his daughter (she just had a baby) We talked for a good 20 minutes when his bus arrived. As I was helping him gather his things, he took my hand (by surprise rather) held it for about 10 seconds before saying to me, "You're the sweetest girl I've ever met. You have such a good heart" I was so touched that I simply stared back at him... "It was so nice meeting you and I hope you get you happiness everywhere (his English wasn't perfect but it was good enough)" I thanked him and squeezed his hand goodbye as he got onto the bus, wishing him a good day.

Going back to the bench with a smile on my face, I couldn't imagine a more perfect beginning to my day. Suddenly, I didn't feel so alone anymore. I may not know anyone here (okay I do, but not many) and I may not be particularly close to anyone here but what I do know is that I can still feel part of something and today I felt part of someone's day and I do sincerely wish that its a good day for him. Not believing that things could possibly get any better today I boarded my bus that arrived soon after. Still smiling to myself thinking about the old gentleman earlier, I let myself get absorbed into my own thoughts simply drifting off (it is a 45 minutes to an hour's worth of travelling so why not right?)

Somewhere halfway through the journey, I notice the bus begin to pull away from one of the stops slowly only to jerk to a halting stop. Slightly thrown off guard by the slamming of the brakes I look around for the cause of the abrupt stop when I see an old man (whats with the old men you may wonder... your guess is as good as mine!) running towards the bus. I must admit the first thing that entered my mind was, wow, he's pretty fit for a guy who seems to be closing in on his 60s. Breathing heavily, he gets into the bus and with a loud chuckle thanks the driver for being "a good lad" (really! I've only ever heard that word being used in old English movies! It was a tickle!) Staggering slightly as the bus moved, he grabbed a seat not too far away, facing me. I was smiling (unawaringly) at the situation at hand and he saw me (I couldn't tell right away as he had shades on~ or I would have looked away!) and smiled back at me. "Having a good day?" he asked rather loudly. "So far so good," I replied rather meekly (I'm not one for loud conversations with complete strangers on a bus thats been so silent) "Its a bloody hot day it is! Bloody hot!" he banters on as he wipes his forehead with a raggedy looking handkerchief. I nod back at him with a smile unable to dispute this fact as the heat was searing through my jeans. "Very!" I say back. Then for some reason, he takes a rather long look at me, lets out a good hearty chuckle and goes on to say, "Well, me stops here (a rather quick journey, I thought) and you have a good day love. I can tell, you're a sweetheart you are." Letting out another chuckle he walks to the front as I call out, "you have a good day too!" and turns around as the bus stops, thanks the driver and says, "Bye love, hope you're day is as good as I mine or better!" and ambles off with a huge grin carved on his face. I must say, I was delighted and quite frankly amused at this little exchange. I smiled all the way to Curtin. =)

All the events of the day had slipped my mind as I waited for the bus to get home. I had a book in hand that I was devouring intently and my mind lapsed for short breaks and nothing more. The journey back to Wellington (the bus and train terminal) was uneventful. It was a slow, hot and dull travel back but I had no complaints having finished quite a bit of my book. As I got off the bus, I noticed how quiet it was at that time of day. The usually bustling place was nearly empty, with police officers pacing around mindlessly. As I was walking, a man (probably in his late 20s, early 30s) who was dressed rather shabbily I would say approached me. At first, I was a little puzzled as the guy seemed a little disheveled and uncertain of himself. He mumbled out to me that he needed 2 dollars and 50 cents for a bus ticket desperately and didn't have enough money on him. I felt really sorry for him as he seemed a little anxious. Probably lost his wallet or something, I thought. I search my wallets and find some spare change that I hand over. He thanks me, without so much as looking at me and walks away with his head down. Odd, I thought... But I shrugged it off and popped into the bathroom on my way to the exit. About 5 minutes later, I stroll out of the bathroom and make my way to the station exit. As I'm walking out I see the same man earlier and this time he's accosted (yes, I will use this word for sneaky pilferers!) another woman with the same story! I hear the whole load of crap as I walk by thinking of how stupid I am... Probably a junkie or a substance addict desperately trying to get his daily dose. So much for a kind deed. Shaking my head in disappointment I walk out of the station, making a solemn promise (which truthfully I know I'll never be able to keep) to myself never to help anyone who comes to me for "change" again.

Finally arriving at the train station, I look around to ascertain my prospects of being able to get a seat on the train. Pretty good, I gather and look up to check how long I would have to wait for the train. I glance up at the board to see a big four staring back at me. 4 minutes, great. Which usually means the train will be here in 2... not long then. As my gaze shifts back down, it falls on a pretty Javanese looking girl. I can tell she's local from the way she's dressed. She's staring at me with a rather unusual look. Caught a little off guard, I give her a rather uncomfortable smile and look away. She had the tiniest smile on her face when she was looking at me but it didn't seem very friendly... I couldn't place my finger on it but the girl rattled me a little.

The train arrives soon after and I board it... I move to a window seat, pleased that the train was rather empty and settled in my seat comfortably. Just as the train doors were closing I see the same Javanese looking girl walk up and plonk herself beside me. Now, I'm simply puzzled. There were at least 4 empty seats from the other car on her way here and of all the places she chose to sit beside me. Tentatively, I look out the window trying to be cool (I'm not paranoid! It just struck me as weird! Woman's intuition!) "Hi! I'm Liyana (or Leanna or however it is her name's spelt- impertinent) and you are?" she chirps. I give her a small smile and reach out to grasp her extended hand "Deeviana, nice to meet you." "What a pretty name!" she exclaims. Okay, my name's different, I know, but I didn't see it as a point worthy of an exclamation but thats how she put it. "Thanks" I reply. Just as I'm about to turn back to the window she asks me where I'm from. We exchange a few questions and answers about each other and I start warming up to this girl. She seems genuinely nice. We laugh a little and she tells me a little about her job as a sales assistant at this place near the Esplanade and that she lives in Wanneroo. My stop comes right before hers and I tell her that as my stop approaches. I get up and inch my way out but right before I move to the door she stops me and says that she really likes me and hopes that we can stay in touch. I was delighted and just as I'm about to give her my number she goes on to say "You know, I think you're pretty and nice. You can come visit me sometime, you know. I live alone." And she says all this while she's STROKING my hand. I think the color in my face drained momentarily (and I'm Indian so that means something) "I think you have me mistaken," I stammer nervously at her. "I'm straight." She looks at me dumbfounded (I'm so glad I got up a station earlier or this exchange would have been so awkward if I didn't explain myself to her) And then goes on to retort "But thats impossible!" Thankfully, my stopped arrived and I managed to mumble out a bye and make my way out from the train. Trailing along the walkway, I kept thinking to myself. Impossible? WHY impossible??

Somehow, now I feel like the word interesting as a title is rather understated. It should read bizarre! But I'll focus on the kind old gentlemen... I haven't smiled as much since I got here and well, I guess the doubting of my sexual orientation was a little funny. Well, its made me laugh now at least and I don't remember laughing much since I got here either. So all in all, a bizarre but rather splendid day!
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